Jurgen Klinsmann has been relieved of his duties as head coach and technical director of the United States Men's National Team. It's been a rough few months (or years depending on how you want to look at it) for Jurgy, with himself mainly to blame. With the rest of World Cup qualifying coming up in 2017, a new head coach needs to be named. Former USMNT manager Bruce Arena is largely considered to be the man US Soccer will tap given his familiarity with the qualifying process and international play overall before handing the keys over to a new coach after Russia 2018. But is he enough? Let's take a look at a few unconventional options...
Uncle Rico
All he needs is a chance, folks.
Kim Jong-un
He's never lost at anything ever and there would be no media distractions around the team. Underperforming players would end up getting fed to dogs or blown up by anti-aircraft guns from point-blank. You think they'd ever dog it at training knowing that? Not. A . Chance.
The Troops
I can't be the only one who thinks if the troops wanted to they could put together a coaching staff and dominate international soccer.
Lebron James
Lebron James could have been the best soccer player in the United States according to every 4 years when casual fans tune into the World Cup. The next best thing is having him as our coach. Just like handball, track and field, basketball and every other sport, Lebron could dominate coaching if he really wanted to. It's unknown how him subtweeting all his players would affect team morale.
The Internet
It's about damn time we let the internet commenters of America have their say. Before they can become president and fix all our nations issues while simultaneously copy and pasting articles from Elite Daily, Huffington Post and BuzzFeed, they can prove themselves by taking over at the USMNT. The Internet has had plenty to say about Klinsmann and routinely offer up their counterpoints and tactics, so let's put them to good use. There will be polls every match day to determine the starting lineup, since polls are one thing we all agree on. The main downside will be when we have to replace our captain when the new coach constantly makes fun of Michael Bradley's bald head.
Coach O
US Soccer needs an interim coach, and there is no better interim coach than Coach O. PFT Commenter has already laid the groundwork for Interim Ed's tenure as USMNT head man.
Maybe what our futbol team needs is a rough and tumble Cajun football guy. We already know he will focused 100% on winning...
He'll bring some toughness we have been straying away from (classic soccer)...
Electric pump up speech. That's a World Cup guaranteed. Downside is you have to fire him right after because once you take away the "interim" title his magic is lost. But I'm all in on making Ed Oregon the next head coach of this nations men's soccer team.
PS-We all know there's only one option for our new technical director. Someone good with finding and grooming young talent and putting together a winning roster to break long championship droughts.
I should probably preface this by saying this is almost more
for me and just getting the thoughts in my mind down, but I hope you reading
can take something, anything from this.
Anyone who knows me well knows I’m not a politics guy. Never
have been, hopefully never will be. I tend to focus more on athletics and who's getting the Crying Jordan treatment next. But it was unavoidable this time around.
And given the results and the reaction, there’s been a few things running
through my mind. Disclaimer: I can't speak for white people. I can't speak for black people. I can't speak for Latinos. I can't speak for Pacific Islanders, Middle Eastern people, Jews, Muslims, I can't even speak for other Asian Americans from the Northeast. I can't speak for any member of the LGBTQ community. I can't speak for women. All I can do is speak for myself and share the thoughts that splashed across my mind throughout this all. I don't know what it feels like to be anyone else, and I'm not trying to with this post.
I’m not pro-Trump. I’m not pro-Hillary. I tried to pay as
little attention as possible to the 2016 election as possible because I knew I
would be disappointed with who was chosen to be the leader of this country
either way. I didn’t think Gary Johnson or Jill Stein were good
either. Am I particularly happy a man who took a Stone Cold Stunner at
WrestleMania 23 (and sold it worse than anyone not named Linda McMahon) is the
President-elect of the United States of America?
No. But it happened. If you
were Team Donny, you have the right to be happy. If you were With Her, you have
the right to be sad, angry and other adjectives to connote similar feelings.
But don’t blame 3rd Party voters. If I can go on
a quick tangent, that’d be cool, but if not, skip this part. I’ve seen so many
people on Twitter and other social media platforms bash Gary Johnson and Jill
Stein voters for “handing the election to Trump”. That’s not what America
should be. We see the ads everywhere that say, “Doesn’t matter who its for,
just vote!” But then we belittle people who did just that? Who followed their
moral compass and voted for who they thought was best? So because it wasn’t for
your candidate, they’re wasting a vote? And this would go for Trump people if
the results were different last night. Hell, it goes for Trump people saying a vote for a 3rd Party candidate was voting for Hillary. Look, you may have an argument in swing
states, but don’t tell me voting for Gary Johnson in Massachusetts, where
Donald Trump didn’t win one single county, cost Hillary the White House.
Hillary Clinton was winning Massachusetts, and New York, and California etc.
regardless, so voting 3rd Party did not hurt her when it came to
winning those types of states. If Donald had lost, voting for Jill Stein in
Georgia wouldn’t be the reason why Hillary would be sitting in the White House. So I implore
you to stop blaming 3rd Party voters entirely for the results,
especially when people (I’ve seen ranges from 11,000 to 20,000) legitimately
voted for Harambe, a gorilla who has been dead for 6 months (still RIP in
peace). I can’t help to think squarely in terms of Massachusetts, you know since
I've lived there my whole life. So again, swing states you may have a
point about 3rd Party votes, but to reiterate a phrase that we have
heard and will hear countless times over, now is not the time for division.
Respect that someone voted for who they believed in, just like you did and help
everyone come together. Those voting 3rd Party were voting for the future, the hope that a third option could become relevant. The hope that enough votes would give a third option the necessary funds to better compete with the two sides that we are finding out people don't exactly fit into wholly.
Moving on. The Huffington Post posted an interesting article in which they said they hope the Donald
Trump we saw on the campaign trail is different than the one that takes up
residence in the White House. And I agree. Right now we can hope for that. It
may seem farfetched for some, but try to hold out a little bit of hope. Hope that the campaign is what brings out the worst in people. And I don’t care who it is. Donald Trump. Hillary Clinton. Gary Johnson. Jill
Stein. Harambe. Kanye West. The Ghost of Stonewall Jackson. The Minotaur.
Whoever holds the title of President of the United States of America, you
should be rooting for them to be the best Commander-in-Chief in the history of
this country. Doesn’t matter what side of the political fence you fall on.
You’re still an American who should want America to be prosperous. You don’t
have to like who’s in office, you can hate them with all your might, but if you aren’t hoping they do a phenomenal job
then you aren’t rooting for America. That’s not unity. And unity is what we need, now
more than ever. I have friends who are Hillary supporters, friends who are
Trump supporters, friends who voted 3rd Party, friends who didn’t
vote at all. From all different backgrounds. And I sincerely hope they can all co-exist and remain friends, and I think they will, otherwise I will do the best I can to rebuild those bridges (I fully realize I sound like a massive hardo here, whatever not all heroes wear capes). And this is maybe the biggest
thought that came across the ole brain. Don’t let this election, or any
election, end friendships. If you’re all about Trump and your friend voted for Hillary,
don’t ostracize them. Go play 2K. Go to a movie. Go get some food. Have
conversations. Educate each other. “'Variety is the spice of life'-William
Cowper”-Alex Wong. As Big Hill would say, “Stronger Together”. Or as Scottish
Unionists would say, “Better together”.
Have hope. Keep positive relationships despite politics.
Unity. Unity, unity, unity. Can’t say that enough.
I’m probably the last person someone would think would write
anything on this topic. A lot of people probably don’t care about my thoughts
and that’s cool, really I mean that. I don’t claim to be super-informed on
anything. I don’t pour over political happenings and documents like others. I'm someone who took far too much joy in beating 10-year-olds in basketball over the summer,
routinely wear a man bun, use satire and bad jokes far too often and have an
unhealthy obsession with sports.
So yeah I'm not what one would call an "expert". I'm not someone who necessarily "should be a leader on these subjects". You could say I'm not "very good at growing facial hair". I don't know if any of that has to matter (especially the last one, I'm just trying not to look like the largest 11 year old Chinese girl alive, ok?).
But if you read this and took anything positive from it or
laughed or whatever, that’s a plus in my book (even though I’m a proud member
of the Blake Bortles Wikipedia Page Reading Club, so not a book guy). Like I
said, this was almost more for me just putting a million thoughts onto a word
processor otherwise it was gonna bother me.
If nothing else, remember that Nate Silver's hairline may have taken the biggest L of anyone or anything last night.
(That tweet getting no RTs or Faves was wildly disrespectful if we're being honest)
Now let's go back to arguing over stuff that matters, like whether or not Black Beatles is better than March Madness*.
ALSO, my good (internet) friends KMarko and Big Cat wrote some good pieces on the media and the Twittersphere that I felt I could not do justice in paraphrasing. So read them if you want/can. And I 100% co-sign Big Cat’s final note about living in the Twitter echo chamber and making jokes and admitting that. Big Cat just published another good one here. *Get lost with that trash take. Like I know I just went on a rant where I promoted unity and voting in who you believe in and not discriminating because of that, but March Madness is a Hall of Famer and Black Beatles is like Karl-Anthony Towns or Giannis Antetokounmpo right now, a lot of potential and looking good early on. I mean, I've never seen Chris Brown front flip on beat to Black Beatles...
My car (read: my parent's car I get to use since we have four people who drive in the house) has been a subject of issue in my life for a little bit now. This right here:
This is my car. Or an image of the same model and color as my car. 2009 Mazda CX-7 in Black Cherry, even though it looks more purple-ish, but that's not the point. I've been driving that car since I got my license, coming up on 5 years now. Drove it everyday of high school since halfway through sophomore year. Drove it in rain, sun, heat, snow, cold, all of it. Freshman year of college I left it at home, and even after not being used for months on end, every time I came home it would start right up.
Well last year, probably around end of January/early February, the battery started dying like every week. Every Monday like clock work I'd need a jump. It got to the point where if I knew I was driving, I'd call for a jump start before I even left my room. Before that started happening I can only remember one time it wouldn't start: senior year (I think) after a huge snowstorm. Had to get it towed from the driveway. So I want to say that leaving it outside in the cold isn't the huge issue since it's been left outside in all weather since we got it. It also wouldn't start this past summer in mid-August, so not exactly sweltering heat and also after the issues started happening consistently, and I needed a jump in the driveway so I could drive to work.
I've had the battery changed and checked, and checked, and checked again and keep getting assured there's nothing wrong, that maybe I wasn't driving it enough (even though in the summer I had been driving it at least 5 days a week and went from April to August without battery problems). So the battery issues have expanded beyond cold weather. I have noticed that since driving it every day the past few weeks, the battery has yet to die. But now there's a new issue.
Doing my daily "Drive Aimlessly Because You Need To Make Sure The Battery Doesn't Die" and the check engine light comes on. The past two or so days I had noticed the car didn't feel as powerful as normal, and now that stupid light comes on. Hey, at least the battery isn't dead, right? But why? WHY? Is it because I'm driving too much? Don't think so, but you never know. Sneaky think it may be the long-ass drives I have to and from school. Average like 6 hours each way, 5 times a year. I'm not a car guy necessarily so I have no idea if that would have a huge impact on car performance. And another thing. I see some of these cars around campus that people will leave burned under snow for 3 weeks at a time start up without a problem. Yet my car, which gets shoveled out, brushed off and driven near-daily has all the problems. What gives?
So now I have to find a garage that can take a look at the engine for as cheap as possible since I'm also going through the process of applying for a UK visa, which is the opposite of affordable. As soon as you think you've solved one issue, a new one reveals itself. And all this just to get me to January 9, 2017. That's when I leave for London. That will be the last time I hopefully have to drive that car. Hell, even when I get home in mid-December I can use one of the other 3 cars we have (hopefully). Even just getting to Thanksgiving break (16 days at the time of this writing) so I can have someone else deal with this problem/the constant problems with his car.
I don't know why the past year saw the devolution of my car. But this is an underrated hell.
UPDATE-Tok it to a local garage to get the problem diagnosed. Needed new spark plugs and whatnot. They told me it would be better to change out all four since they were all in the time period for failure given how old they were. And then they quoted me so much money I nearly fainted. I told them I'd just fix the one, thank you. Still costed more than I had in my bank account and I was legitimately dead. I stuttered, "I just need to make a call" and went outside to frantically call my dad who was home and paid for the repairs. Just a horrible experience all around.
