Well, before we get to the game, we have a pressing matter at hand. As you may have seen, March Madness brackets are hot right now. That is because This Is March.
Well brackets for all sorts of things have been popping up. Marvel heroes, candy, pornstars, old TV shows, the works really. Well one of the many has been Disney and Pixar movies. One of the most talked about and fought over matches is what many are calling a first round slobberknocker. Not me. I am, of course, talking of Frozen vs. Moana. It's not even close. Moana blows Frozen out of the water, pun intended. Well, Kelyn Rowe did not agree because he is a wrong person.
The temerity, the unmitigated gall, the complete and utter lack of couth, Max Kellerman. Frozen over Moana? I'll look past the Hercules over Lion King atrocity, but I will not turn a blind eye to Frozen over Moana. The songs are better, the setting is better, the characters are as a whole better (I will concede Olaf is a strong presence, I love me some Olaf), it has a better plot, Moana has The Rock in it and Auli'i Cravalho broke out completely. You've got Alessia Cara on the album version of How Far I'll Go with a nice little beat behind her. And you want to put Frozen over that? That is where I have had enough, Molly Qerim.
And so, I must rebuke Kelyn Rowe's Disney Bracket.
Anyway, there was a sports game tonight. Jeff Lemieux reminds us that the Revs have been good against the Dynamo recently.
It's a little thing, but #NERevs have had loads of success against the Dynamo - and particularly in Houston - in recent years. Revs are 4-0-1 in the last five overall regular-season meetings, and 2-1-1 on their last four visits to BBVA Compass Stadium. pic.twitter.com/r7aHzkVcth
The lineup was largely the same minus one change: Luis Caicedo got the start in place of Bracket Boy which changed the formation a bit. Perhaps the bigger story is the fact that Toni Delamea has yet to reclaim his spot in the XI, as Jalil Anibaba maintains his stranglehold.
Teal Bunbury has had enough of our shit and decided to finish off a tap in.
Beautiful counter build up and Cristian Penilla threads the needle to make it as easy a goal as can be for Teal.
The Revs broke out again and it was the Big Time Speed Man Penilla with a lear chance at goal before being shoved in the back by Damarcus Beasley. Beasley gets shown the red and the Revs for once are up a man instead of being down a man.
— New England Revolution (@NERevolution) April 1, 2018
The speed and direct attack, the damn Ronaldo scissors and a scorching finish up high. It was mostly sexual in nature for me.
Penilla was even tracking back hard in the last 5 minutes, so we can officially throw out that he can only go 70 minutes when healthy. If he's good to go, he should be on the field all game long.
Two other notes:
-This game was far more back-and-forth. The press from the start was a little more relaxed and Houston was taking advantage by pushing deep but never quote finding those top tier chances. The Revs were very much playing bend don't break defense. The toned down press meant a more open game which I think actually helped the Revs attack, and they were able to possess more than they did against NYC. This is a good sign, as Brad was able to see that while the press was working against New York, breaking the press meant a good look at goal and decreased possession. So, he employed the press but tweaked it based on last week. Thats what Big Baller Brad does.
-The other thing is that the Cult of Matt Turner is growing and I am at the head of the church handing out dixie cups of kool aid.
A few good saves and a first career clean sheet for the kid. He has been one of the brightest and most unexpected aspects of the young season.
Man of the Match
Cristian Penilla clearly the MOTM. An assist, a goal and drew a red card. His goal showed off some of the creativity and FINISHING that has been missing from this team. Despite the Diego's and Kelyn's and Juan's and Lee's, Penilla is the first player I've felt can score literally every time he touches the ball. He's pure electricity. The way he attacks defenders is refreshing. I need the Revs to exercise the option to buy him ASAP.
And thus, the Revs move to 2-1-1 on the season and have actually won a road game. Next up is a Friday Night Fight with Montreal at Gillette. Time to keep the ball rolling.
This was the first time we got a near-perfect and extended look at what Brad Friedel is trying to do here. Game 1 we went down two men and had to adapt, and I don't think Game 2 had the tactics fully on display despite the win. This game showed us his philosophy in its entirety. Right from the jump, the Revs were allowing NYCFC to control possession, but that was because of the strategy at play from Brad Friedel. The Revs showed us a high-pressure pressing system in which NYC was holding the ball but not doing anything with it. The press was giving them no room to operate, so it was receive a pass and then send a pass with no real advancement in a matter of seconds. This was especially effective against this NYC side as a result of their fondness for playing out of the back. They could either go short and immediately be pressured close to their own net, or go for the long ball and turn it over. We actually saw both of those happen to.
Before we get right back to the strategy and game action, lineup moves included Matt Turner starting in net again with Brad Knighton on the bench, meaning I really don't know what to make of Croppers situation right now. All I do know is that I am an avid drinker of The Crop Man's Kool Aid, and now I'm having to buy into the Church of Turner now to. There was also Claude Dielna back wearing the captains armband after serving his one match ban after opening day, but partnered alongside him was Jalil Anibaba, who as you can see by the name is not Antonio Delamea. Anibaba played well in having to save both those guys asses for two weeks, but I was certain Delly would take back his spot. And then Teal Bunbury started up top again or whatever, although I admit his style of play suits Brad's tactics, other than the part where he has no finishing capability as a striker.
NYC was without David Villa and Alexander Ring. The Ring injury hurt them the most in this game, as he would be the one who could normally be winning back possession and bossing the midfield.
Right from the jump the press was out there doing its damn thing. The Revs were able to force the turnover deep in NYC territory and Diego was able to thread a pass to Cristian Penilla, who was unable to find the goal with a shot. This would be a recurring theme all game. Because the press was giving up chunks of possession in exchange for keeping the attack at bay, it would be imperative the Revs take advantage of every chance they get. Well, they didn't do that.
Teal followed Penilla's miss by falling and allowing a pass to be intercepted. A few times they just blasted a shot in the general vicinity of the net and missed by multiple feet. And when I say multiple feet, I mean the balls needed up in the stratosphere. So yeah, not exactly capitalizing on their chances.
They finally had their breakthrough after a relentless press that lead to a turnover and Wilfried Zahibo quickly tapped it to Diego who turned and fired a long distance shot that hit the post and pinged in.
Penilla later had a chance but tried to get it over to Teal, who promptly mis-hit it that a header. Kalyn had a nice run not he left of the box and had his shot blocked. Teal did a really nice job with his dummy run which ended up drawing one defender away and allowing Rowe to split them on his way toward the net. There, I said a good thing about Teal.
Scott Caldwell had an otherwise solid game, but one turnover of his off of a quick start of all things led to a good look at goal for NYC, but Turner made a diving save.
Thats also an insane shot to get successfully get off from Herrera.
Turner later had another save that turned into a quick counter attack with Diego spearheading with the ball. He spotted a streaking Penilla on the right and played a beauty of a pass that was snuffed out with a last second slide. While the last few steps were missing, it was good to see the counter attack and the sheer speed they ran it with. No waiting or going slower in order to let other players join in. Diego got the ball and took off like a missile, and whoever was already forward or fast enough to catch him, thats who would attack.
Ismael Tajouri-Shradi was booked for simulation in a reminder that the Soccer Gods are not out to get the Revs all the time, just 99% of the time.
Penilla made a nice run and found Diego, who slipped and put the shot over. But it was Teal once again with a nice run that opened up the space. Thats TWO (2) good things I've said about him.
Scotty forced a turnover and picked out Penilla on the far side of the field. The Colombian tried to curl it top corner but rang post.
The Revs are doing stuff. Penilla strikes the post and they don't look likely to be satisfied with one goal pic.twitter.com/S33nMPIYnV
NYC finally broke the press, and once you get by that pressure you'll have numbers attacking the goal. It was Tajouri-Shradi deciding not to dive like a scuba instructor and instead putting the ball into the net.
I am expecting a lot of goals against to look like that. Break the press and find the spaces between the retreating defenders.
Rowe came off and was replaced by Juan Agudelo, pushing Teal to the wing. The Swaggy One made an instant impact, putting a head to a Penilla cross and putting the Revs up 2-1.
Just nestles himself in between Farrell and Anibaba, and is able to get it past a diving Turner.
Brandon Bye came on for Penilla, meaning he better have been gassed. If he's just coming off as one of your best offensive players and can still go, then I'll be mad online.
Teal had a beautiful run and what was basically a free shot on net, but of course miffed it with his left foot. Another golden chance wasted.
The last notable thing to happen this game was Big Baller Brad doing the damn thing and bringing in Luis Caicedo, who only arrived to the team two days ago. Caicedo proceeded to provide an immediate spark, creating a turnover and trying to start an attack at the death.
And so, 3 points turned into 1. Still not a loss so we can still talk about Fortress Foxboro, but given the fact that they dominated the first half and the game overall and only came out with a tie its a disappointing result. It should have been at least five goals on the board, but the finishing was missing once again. At the least, we saw what will hopefully be an exciting brand of football that will be a whole lot of fun to watch this summer.
Some more quick thoughts:
-Penilla is looking so good. He's fast as fuck and has a true offensive mind, coupled with the skill to execute. His post job shows he's not afraid to shoot from anywhere and can be on target. Brad Feldman on the TV broadcast said he doesnt think we've even seen as fast as he can go, which should be terrifying for opposing fullbacks.
-The passing today liked a little sloppy. Rowe was a big suspect of this, as he had to should-be-chances end up being non-threatening. Like I've said, given the fact that they were playing for pressure rather than possession, they needed to take care of their opportunities, so moving forward they need to make sure that their passing is tight.
-The ability to switch Rowe and Penilla on the two wings is going to be so important all season. They were swapping spots all day and each possess the ability to play either side very well. It lets Friedel throw different looks at teams and keep them guessing without having to sub. As soon as a defender starts to get comfortable playing Penilla, Rowe shows up and forces them to switch their style and approach a little. It'll keep attacks looking fresh and can lead to chances just from fullbacks being slow to adapt.
-Caicedo didnt see many minutes, but I liked what I saw from him. He brought energy and immediately won a tackle before trying to spark plug an attack. I'm looking forward to see how he fits into the plans and how he progresses.
-Bunbury's passing chart was, ummmm, well here it is:
-I might have to name Wilfried Zahibo an honorary member of the Ojeleye Factory. He has a thick, jacked frame and has combat muscles for days. I can very much see him becoming the Revs version of Marcus Smarf, also a member of the Ojeleye Factory.
Man of the Match
The Fast and the Furious, Cristian Penilla. He was very involved when he was in, pressed well, won turnovers, was key in the offense with his speed and skill, and added an assist. The first of many, I'm sure.
Next up is at Houston in one week. Lets get hyphy in H-Town my good bitcces.
After last weeks disappointing start to the 2018 campaign, the Revs answered today with a 2-1 win in the home opener. Some fun facts for you on a Saturday: coming into this game, the Revs had won 8 straight games at home and had not lost a home opener since 2006, when Diego Fagundez was 11 years old, still a few years from his first team debut.
The lineup situation was going to be an interesting one given the fact both starting center backs in Toni Delamea and Claude Dielna were out due to red cards in week one. This forced regular right back Andrew Farrell to the middle alongside Jalil Anibaba, and provided rookie Brandon Bye the opportunity to start his first MLS game. Aside from the backline shakeup, the only other change was Kelyn Rowe getting the start on the right side of the midfield with Teal Bunbury shifting up top and Juan Agudelo starting on the bench.
Before we look at the game, recently retired Charlie Davies decided to take in todays contest from The Fort.
Newly retired, Charlie Davies takes in today's match with New England fans. He's obvioiusly enjoying the chants of "Charlie Davies". pic.twitter.com/xnt0eQTXle
A good finish, low with power through the traffic, from Diego, but this is all Cristian Penilla. I'll get to him more later, but what a run form him to set this up. Uses his speed to get the ball forward into space and get the Colorado defense back on their heels a bit, than cuts inside on a dime and draws a second defender before laying it off for Diego to put home. Even better is how Penilla didn't just sit back after he makes the pass, he continues to move forward and onside, before breaking towards the goal after the shot for a possible rebound.
Next was Colorado answering via a nice header from the youngster Jackson.
You have to give credit where its due. That was a great run to get in behind by Jackson and a beauty of a ball in. Not to mention the fearlessness of a kid making his MLS debut to put his neck out there to get apiece of the ball and put it in the back of the net.
And finally...
Chris Tierney wins it for New England with a deflected free kick at the death! 2-1 in for New England! pic.twitter.com/aRWU3AoQ5G
Old Man Tierney, on for an injured Gabriel Somi, shows that his left foot can still be amongst the most deadly in the league. After Wilfried Zahibo is fouled not he edge of the box, its Tierney stepping up and putting a shot on target with good pace and accuracy that gets deflected by the wall and goes right past Tim Howard. Such an exciting finish, as the last real kick of the game ends up being the winner. And Friedel had a great reaction to boot.
Some other game notes:
- Early on the Revs established really nice ball movement, keeping the Rapids defenders moving in the hopes that a miscommunication could break them wide open like an axe going through a log. This along with the aggressive pressing style Brad has implemented should lead to a nu,ver of good chances a game as they force turnovers in the attacking half and keep possession of the ball through quick passes.
-Cristian Penilla is going to be so fun to watch. We only got a limited view last week, but he really showed out today. Aside from setting up the Fagundez goal, he had a few nice runs, had a beauty of a ball to Rowe as he switched the field of play and started to display his attacking creativity along with his blazing speed. I guarantee he has at least one goal this season that leaves our jaws on the floor. The biggest concern, as Paul Marniner on the broadcast also pointed out, is that he needs to make sure he mixes it up a bit on the attack. He's very good at the "run fast at a defender and then cut in onto my right" play, but if he doesn't mix it up defenders will easily be able to clue in on him and play him accordingly.
-I thought Zahibo looked good as well today. He was breaking up attacks in the midfield and winning balls to start counters. He also didn't almost get a red card, which is actually good.
-Diego apparently has chemistry with everyone on this team, because he was linking with Rowe, Penilla, Nemeth and Agudelo.
-As mentioned above, Gabriel Somi was injured today.
#NERevs go to the bench early as Chris Tierney replaces Gabriel Somi after this collision with the Rapids' Jack McBean. pic.twitter.com/qPL3ERXHh6
I mean, McBean hits Somi with his shoulder and then follows through, and he only got a yellow card. If that was a Rev they'd be tried in a court of law and then publicly executed. Some looked legitimately knocked out for a second. Word is he's groggy right now, so a good bet he has a concussion and will miss some time.
-I am ready for the Teal Bunbury experiment to end. He's a fine depth piece, but he should not be starting. I don't know what happened that has caused Brad to entrust the attack to him instead of Juan or Nemeth, but it needs to change.
-The Matt Turner Era has arrived. I am ALL IN on the kid. A few nice saves and he was aggressive on the goal he allowed, just a little slow to react. I think with experience he's able to punch that ball out of harms way.
Calm, cool, collected on the corner and strong hands to prevent a rebound. And then that PK save. Watching that was mostly sexual for me.
Man of the Match
If he had kept a clean sheet, it would have been hard for this not to be Matt Turner, but Diego was so instrumental in the attack today. He opened the scoring, was involved with everyone, and showed off some of his flashy moves. Also, with the players choosing their own goal songs he has chosen this very song to play overtime he plays at Gillette Stadium.
Next up is NYCFC at home on March 24. Looking to make it 10 in a row in the friendly confines.
THE REVS DO NOT LOSE AT FORTRESS FOXBORO, THAT MUCH IS CERTAIN MAX KELLERMAN!
The 4th of March, 2017 (El cuatro de Marzo, for my Spanish speakers out there, yes I am cultured). My second day in Barcelona visiting my friend Nick for spring break. It started innocently enough. I think we went and checked out a few sites, maybe took a stroll on La Rambla or something. I honestly do not remember what we did during the day. All I know for certain is we got back to his apartment around 5 PM Barcelona time. Two of his roommates, we'll call them Alec and Jameson because those are their names, told us they were going to the FC Barcelona game that night. Saturday night futbol, what a great time to be had! Nick and I took a look-see on the ol' Internet to see if any tickets remained for this matchup with Celta Vigo. And what do you know, there were some still for sale! Now Nick was wanting to stay in for the night and study for exams the next week like a huge wet blanket, but after some good, old-fashioned peer pressure from myself and the five others in the room, we went ahead and smashed that buy button. I was already excited about seeing a real life Demi God play live in Lionel Messi. And then I saw that gate number I would go through in order to access my seats.
Nice.
So we wait around, play some FIFA and before you know it, its just after 7 and we're heading out to make the trek to Camp Nou. A long Metro ride and some walking later, and we get there. It truly is a breath-taking experience. The four of us head into the marvelous team store they have and bought some swag. Talkin' nice new jerseys for the boys: Neymar for me and Nick (LOL nice call noobs, he left for PSG after that season) and Luis Suarez for Jameson. The other guys had different seats than us, so we agreed to meet up at the beer tent near the shop after the match.
Nick and I make our way to the seats. Midfield and in the actual last row of the entire stadium. But my God was it a gorgeous view:
Buddy,,, I was hitting that button with a ferocity.
It was a wonderful game. Messi scored twice, Neymar scored, Barcelona won 5-0, I got to chirp my beloved Arsenal:
After meeting up with the other two and having a beer, we made our way home. It was probably 11 PM at that point, and we started talking about the plans for the rest of the night.
You see, Barcelona is a weird spot. Whereas places like Boston and London shut down pretty early compared to other places, nightlife in Barcelona doesn't start until like midnight. So we got home around 1130 and put own some nicer clothes, because we were heading to Otto Zutz, a nightclub.
Now, anyone who knows me in the slightest could probably tell you I am 100% NOT a nightclub guy. I'm large, I'm awkward, I generally despise people, especially people who like to frequent clubs. I think that you pay an exorbitant amount of money for a mediocre time at best. Overpriced drinks, people who think they're better than they are, music that is too loud to be good, things of that nature. The temerity, the unmitigated gall, the lack of couth, Max Kellerman.
None of these things are conducive to being in a club. I mean, look at that picture. All packed in like sardines. You think I was able to maneuver comfortably in there? No. Not my bag.
Despite this, I'm operating under a "When In Rome" mindset. The guys are gonna take me to the club and have a swell time. We pregame and then get to the club around 1 AM. Myself, Alec and Jameson take one cab and Nick and his girlfriend take another. At this point I would like to point out that I had only met those two Friday afternoon. I had gone for a beer with Alec and Nick Friday night at a place frequented by Americans called The George Payne, in which an aggressively drunk girl fell asleep on me. I'm talking slurring her words to the point it sounded like Dothraki, couldnt stay still and her eyes were rolling back in her head like she's the goddamn Undertaker.
Not great! So as she's sleeping/possibly deceased on my shoulder, her friend comes to try and drag her away, but 'Taker comes back and just stares at me, saying "What?" a lot, at which point I try and have an intelligent conversation with her about the geopolitical ramifications of Catalonia seceding from Spain. I won't say she was anti-independence for the Catalan people but her silence on the subject was worrisome to say the least. Her friend tried to get her again but then a guy came over out of nowhere and started making out with her, and so the dead girl stayed on my shoulder for a few more minutes.
Anyway, I hadn't known those guys for very long and had only really had beers with Alec and spent no time with Jameson aside form a little bit of FIFA at the apartment. Our cab gets to Otto first and we finally get to the front of the line. A 10 Euro cover and a free drink, not too bad (it could have been very bad but like I said before, not a club person so I have zero reference as to what cover should be). Well, we get in there and Nick texts us to say his girlfriend isn't feeling too well and that they ended up going home. So now I'm in a club with two guys I don't really know and I'm thinking that I can't leave now. My Spanish isn't great and I don't really want to try and traverse home by myself. Not to mention I have no key to the apartment. So I stayed.
We grabbed our free gin and tonics and headed upstairs, because apparently downstairs is where you get all your personal items stolen right off your body. Like a newborn cub that cannot protect itself from the elements, except in this case the elements were 42-year-old Spanish men rolling on molly and hitting on girls who were for sure like 18 or 19 at most. We proceeded to spend the next few hours taking too many tequila shots (I have sworn off tequila after this and another instance I may get into later) and trying our hands at trying to romantically attract Spanish women with our poor Spanish and body language. My game in Spanish is almost as bad as my game in English. At least in Spanish I had to just be direct and get to the point, meaning rejection came a lot faster than normal. "Quiere bailar conmigo?" "Le gusta a mi?" "Quiere besa a mi?" (Notice I used the formal tu form, or 'ustedes', because I did not know these various ladies as if they were my friends.) Needless to say, it did not work. It didn't help I am, again, large and awkward and was struggling making it to and from the bar and around the establishment. Alec had the best Spanish of the group and even he was striking out. Jameson was drunk. He was very drunk.
Finally, a lot of money down and without having a single female express any interest in any of us whatsoever, we exited. It was probably between 3 and 4 AM at this point. We're very drunk, and Jameson had pregamed harder than any of us so he was absolutely hammered. We were waiting for a cab outside the entrance and security says we have to move around the building. So we walk over and a few people follow us. We chat them up and the leader of that pack says he's from Amsterdam. A real nice lad. He pulls out a carton of cigarettes, and Alec and Jameson ask if they can get some Drunk Hoons. I do not partake because I enjoy my cancer to come in other forms, thank you. Meanwhile, one of his companions, a woman, pulls out a tin and pops something green in her mouth. She offers some to us, to which we all wonder out loud, "What in the good fuck is she trying to give us?" We're asking her where she's from to try and get a little English or something out of her. But she's not saying anything, just holding the tin out. We all look at each other and then take a piece (I don't know how to describe them, almost like a fruit gusher shape I guess?). Theres hesitation, and then I drunkenly throw caution to the wind and throw that sucker into my face hole. Alec and Jameson immediately order me to tell them what effects it takes on me over the next few minutes, and they pocket theirs.
Here's the thing, I said I was bad at Spanish, but I do know it to some extent. The lady was saying "Azucar" a lot. Sugar. That was just a breath mint with sugar in it, I was sure of it. I was hoping it was some wild edible from Amsterdam and I was about to blast off for one of Saturns various rings. While I was disappointed, I was also relieved it was not some sort of cyanide capsule or horse tranquilizer. They taste a little funny though, no biggie in my state at the time though. Ab out an hour and a half later when they kicked in I realized that they were in fact edibles because I caught myself just staring at a street sign for a good 15 minutes and thought I was melting through Earth's crust. The sign was in Catalan too, not even Spanish which I would have had a shot at understanding.
So, those people leave and while we wait for a cab to come by, Alec has finished his cig and has taken Jamesons. Now, Jameson has said he will not be able to finish his, but lo and behold after about 30 seconds he wants it back. They start fighting over it, shoving each other as people will. I'm Snapchatting this because I am an asshole and also trying to grab Jameson before he gets hurt as the smaller human in this situation. We start drifting, and before I know it we're in a parking garage exit. This one to be exact.
See that gate thats open on the right side? We hit that and knocked it off. And see that little booth on the right? There was a security guard sitting there. We stop dead in our tracks and Alec picks up the broken gate. The guard starts to move, so Alec drops the gate and yells, "RUN!"
Pal, I've never ran so fast in my life. We BOOKED it. Jameson being drunk as a skunk got caught, the security guard absolutely laid him out from behind like he was Brian Dawkins.
Me and Alec make it a few blocks down and are sucking in wind. My lungs were really mad at me, that much is certain. And then it dawns on us: "Where's Jameson?" Well shit buddy, he got caught, now I remember seeing him get mollywhopped. We start to walk back to find him and he's with the security guard and two policemen, who showed up with a quickness. A great first step most likely, could probably take Paul George off the dribble and finish at the rim. Alec tells me, "You can stay back if you want, you didn't actually go through the gate." To which I thought, "Yeah, I'll take you up on that and not go towards La Policia." I thought it might take 15 minutes to sort things out. Well 15 minutes turned into an hour. I finally decided to come out from behind the car I was hiding behind because I thought I was James Bond and walk up to the crime scene. The security guard tells the police I'm the other one, and Alec tells them I did nothing, I was just there. A good guy move if there ever was one.
The police don't care and are telling us we either come back at 9 AM to pay for the damages, roughly 200 Euro, or we go to jail. Now I've always wanted to be on Locked Up Abroad, ever since I was a small boy. Perhaps for drug smuggling, maybe arson, who knows. You see, Future's self titled album had just come out a month prior, and on it there is a song called "Scrape" which, after one spin, will make you want to go commit a litany of felonies.
So I was in the criminal mood as a result and ready to do hard time in a Spanish prison, just for sure not breaking a parking garage gate. That shits weak, I would have been mince meat in the slammer with that story. So I am all for paying the fine. Jameson meanwhile is drunkenly telling us we can grab his ID off the officers clipboard and make a break for it. Luckily, Alec speaks very good Spanish despite our night so far and the cops speak no English. Alec does a good job talking to the police while Jameson is saying nonsense that would get us in a lot of trouble with cops who could understand him. We elect to come back later and pay.
Getting in the cab we're all sort of just speechless at what had transpired. It's now 530 AM and we're finally home. And there's a girl at the building entrance. She says her friends from UT-Austin are living "somewhere in here". So we let her in and she joins us in the elevator. She gets off a floor before us and as we are opening the door to our place we can hear her knocking on doors below us. We head in and recap the night to two of the other guys. After about five minutes theres a knock on the door. I go to open it and its the girl. With the door an inch open she walks in like she owns the place and says she can't find her friends room. "I just woke up a random family," she says. She needs to charge her phone so she can call her friend and find the room number. So theres a random girl just chilling with us and we tell her about our night to. She found the general story interesting, us not so much. At least I have checked off an item on my bucket list: Get turned down by two or more women representing different nationalities in the same night.
She finally leaves and its time to turn in for the night. It's also 7 AM and the sun is coming out. I think I slept until 130 PM before I was awoken by Nick entering the room. Oh yeah, I slept in Nicks bed all week because he didn't use it once while abroad since he slept at his girlfriends apartment down the street. Feels like an important piece of info.
So to recap a little: I was drunkenly out for an absurd amount of time (like how do they just do 12-7 AM club nights/mornings every weekend? Europeans are a different species, man), ingested an unknown substance that ended up being sugar but only enough to cover 99% of the taste of marijuana that made up the majority of this thing digesting in my stomach, almost got arrested in a foreign country while living in a different foreign country at 4 AM and finally closed it all out hanging out with a random girl in my friends apartment until 7 AM. Perhaps even crazier than any of this is telling my mother what had happened a week later when she visited me in London. I left out a few details at that time, though.
A night I will never forget, and a beautiful place to boot. Barcelona became one of my favorite places on Earth that week. I also formed a bond with Alec and Jameson through that outing. We will forever be connected by that instance.
As the lauded poet-laureate Ed Sheeran once said, "Siempre vida Barcelona."
PS-Even more upsetting that anything that happened that night is that I left my towel in Nicks closet and he refused to bring it back to the States for me. On Hanukkah no less! Some friend he is!
PPS-The other time that factored into me swearing off tequila was when I was presuming at this girls apartment in London and she asked if I wanted a shot, to which I said yes. She tells me they're out of shot glasses and grabs a solo cup. And thence just starts pouring tequila in. And pouring. And pouring. It looked like the Alec Baldwin gif but in real life.
She hands me the cup that is now roughly 65% tequila. My eyes just sort of turned into saucers, I mean was I really supposed to drink that straight? And then she said, "Are you gonna drink that or be a pussy?" It was at that moment I had been challenged and had to respond. So I could either put the cup down and walk out and never be seen again, or I could take that Mexican liquor straight to the face. And so I had a lot, I mean A LOT, of tequila in one sitting and decided right there I was never touching the stuff again. Fuck tequila, shits gross. Give me a nice, locally brewed IPA over the Devils Toxin any day.
Remember when I said that the renewed confidence in this team may be baseless? Well, they did wonders for that statement tonight in Philly.
The excitement was high for this match, the first of the Brad Friedel Era. Big Baller Brad rolled out an interesting 4-2-3-1 lineup for Game #1. Cody Cropper stayed in Boston with an illness, but according to the Revs broadcast, it wouldn't have mattered if he was healthy because Matt Turner would have gotten the start tonight no matter what. Kelyn Rowe and Krizstian Nemeth both started on the bench as the attack was spearheaded by Juan Agudelo with Diego Fagundez underneath him at the CAM spot. Flanking him were Cristian Penilla and Teal Bunbury, who was solid in preseason. Scott Caldwell and Wilfried Zahibo paired in the deep midfield, while the backline consisted of what will likely be the Revs #1 option all season (just not for next game, we'll get there buddy,,,). Andrew Farrell, Antonio Delamea, Claude Dielna and Gabriel Somi. As we expected it was Dielna with the captains armband.
Early on things were very even. Penilla showed his speed and started a breakout that ended with Juan getting a close shot saved and then Diego having his effort deflected as well. Teal Bunbury had a good chance on a corner that he mishit with the left foot and Diego made a run through the middle that would have been a 1 v 1 with Andre Blake, but Juan couldn't find the space for a pass. Juan had a breakaway attempt that was snuffed out with a great solo tackle. It is far too early to be worried about finishing though.
Toni brings down CJ Sapong on a clear goal chance and gets shown red. So before we even get to halftime of Game #1, we're down to 10 men and will be without last seasons MVP for the home opener next week. This forced Brad into a move, in which he took off Penilla for Jalil Anibaba in order to keep four at the back. Right before half it was Union young boy Anthony Fontana, just 18 years old, opened the scoring.
Burke puts Gabriel Somi in a blender before the ball finds Sapong for a tap in.
It very much should have been a more lopsided score than 2-0. After going down to 10 men the Revs were outclassed. They didn't quit, but that will only take you so far.
Oh, but not to be forgotten, Captain Claude gets two yellows and is sent off, meaning we will miss our two starting center backs next week. Just absurd, you cannot write this stuff.
I don't even know what to say about this. This is the captain of New England taking an absolutely pointless second yellow in a match that was already decided leaving New England without 2 center backs for next week's fixture. Absurd decision. pic.twitter.com/K1mwwliX6T
And thus endeth a painful start to this campaign. Flashes of promise and the goals will surely come, but this was one to forget. A few more observations:
-Gabriel Somi will be an exciting adventure this season. He's very attack-minded and has pace (the combo of him and Penilla on the left will be really cool to watch form a pure speed standpoint), but more than once he was playing aggressive and gave up a ton of space behind him that Philly worked into. Teams like Toronto or Atlanta will exploit the hell out of that. Still, the way Somi bombs forward will create a ton of offense and be fun to watch at least.
-The defense has apparently adapted the patented Foxboro Bend Don't Break defensive philosophy. Philly was getting a lot of deep runs that were snuffed out in and near the 18.
-David Accam is actually good. His holdup play was giving the Revs fits and his combo of speed and skill had Andrew Farrell spinning like a top. He burned him at one point and it wasn't even close.
-CJ Sapong should have had 4 goals, he missed three really, really easy ones.
-At one point Fabinho looks like he took a shot to the dick and Paul Mariner proceeded to laugh and then say, "I shouldn't laugh."
-Diego, Dielna, Zahibo and Juan went with the bleached hair and I am all in on that.
-I thought Brandon Bye was pretty good in his debut. He had one nice play that ended up in him playing Bunbury through, but the vet rolled it wide.
-I thought the pressing and pressure were really good, especially at full strength. Friedel has placed an emphasis on fitness and this seems to be a major part of that. The Revs are gonna press and press and press some more. That being said, they also had a lot of giveaways that needed pressing in order to slow the counter attack.
-Claude Dielna is a bit of a hot head. On a yellow already he continued to attempt risky shoves and holds.
Dielna who is already on a yellow card with his side already being a man down has apparently lost his mind. Lucky to get away with a warning. pic.twitter.com/f0zKvePMF8
He also started shoving a bit after that when the ref was giving a warning, so he's lucky he didn't get a second yellow for that.
Man of the Match
I thought Matt Turner looked great in his regular season debut. There really wasn't much he could have done on the two goals and made a number of nice saves. He made them look easy as well. If he can emerge as a true potential #1 and we have a sort of 3-way keeper battle I think things will get a lot better. Theres a lot of potential between Turner and Cropper as two young guns with a quick fuse, I was uptight, wanna let loose-sorry about that. And those two pushing each other will make the team better.
1:30 against Colorado at Fortress Foxboro next week. Let's get on the board fellas.
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