Friday, July 24, 2020

Let's Talk About The Nestle Crunch Bar Commercial


I'm sure you've seen the family above. For months now we've had Joanna and her perfect little trio pop up during commercial breaks for all of your favorite shows. Just a happy family snacking on some crunch rice smothered in milk chocolate after a little league baseball game. A ideal situation, pure Americana! 

Now let's watch the commercial again...


Upon first watch you might say, "Yep, same commercial as ever, a handsome family and good sweets." I had the same reaction. 

Now the first time I re-watched it and paid attention here's what I saw: 

-The white mother, Joanna, on the left of the screen
-Joanna's husband, who is black, on the right side of the screen
-Their bi-racial son, an absolute scamp and likely #2 hitter on his team, in the middle 


Then we get to the ingredients of the Crunch Bar portion of the advertisement:

-The rice, which is white, flies in from the left
-The chocolate component flies in from the right 
-The combine in the middle to create the Crunch Bar that we all know and love today


I mean that CANNOT just be a coincidence, right?? You just happen to have the white rice and the chocolate collide like some paint in an indie rock music video to create a blend of the two directly after showing a multiracial family set up in the same fashion? The white coming in from the left and the black coming from the right to make a combination in the center???


It just seems far too thought out and something marketing execs thought would be clever to be happenstance. You literally, in both images, have a white form on the left combining with a black form on the right to make a perfect combination of crackly rice and milk chocolate in the middle. 

And ya know what? I think I've actually done a 180 on this commercial. I thought it was corny and not good at first but I think now I just sort of have to associate Crunch Bars with racial harmony. I am not saying that Crunch Bars are the solution to racial divide and tension in our you try today, but I also wouldn't be surprised if Crunch Bars are what solve all the worlds problems. Talking racial injustice, world hunger, Mark Zuckerberg dragging an absolute wagon of a dump truck ass behind him, climate change, things of that nature. 

Now my sources at Nestle have told me that these images are actually heavily doctored. However, I was able to get my hands on the original photos.


I am absolutely going to hell for that, but you know who isn't? Whoever thought up this commercial idea. Bravo, Nestle. 

Also, Crunch Bars are a sneaky top 10 candy and I won't hear arguments against that point because they are incredibly wrong.