Monday, February 5, 2018

I Am Mad Online About This Newest "Gisele Controversy"


We've all heard by this point the infamous Gisele Bundchen (paraphrasing) "My husband cannot throw the ball and catch it" sound bite from Pats-Giants II. My thoughts regarding that have not changed: not great to say it out loud but that was a supportive spouse caught up in the heat of the moment and emotion of the game. 

Well the latest controversy is....


Oh. Come. ON. Am I losing my mind?

We're really gonna get mad about that? Really? Well, fine. That means I can be irate on the web. 

Everyone needs to chill. The Fuck. Out. A mother tells her crying kids, in her second language, something to get them to calm down for like five minutes. And people are upset about it. People tell kids shit all the time to get some peace and quiet for just a few moments. I guarantee that when those kids talked to their dad, he told them that the better team won. 

My biggest gripes come down to two groups. 

First, all the fucking holier-than-thou people in the cesspool known as Twitter replies. "Why didn't she just tell two young, crying kids that sometimes the team you want to win just doesn't have it, meh meh meh, this is actually poor sportsmanship". To which many people answered, "Well, those crying kids might not, at the time, really understand whats being said like an adult would." And I shit you not, one woman in particular in those replies decided to say, "Well, mine did." 

OH GO FUCK YOURSELF. LITERALLY GO FUCK YOUR OWN FACE. Look! We got a perfect parent with perfect kids over here! I bet she has numerous bumper stickers on her stupid fucking mini van declaring her children are all on the middle school honor roll. How nice for you that your kids are in such a right state of mind to understand all sorts of concepts, probably because their parents will never be on the kind of stage that the Brady children saw their dad on. Fucking loser. I am a god damn pro when it comes to lying to kids to get them to calm down. I've had 20 10-year-olds all pissy and just told them a lie to get them to shut up for 10 minutes. It's just something that happens. 

And then she had the audacity to be correcting other people on twitter in regards to their parenting. I'm not a father. I don't actually know how it feels to be a parent. But if that was me getting lectured by some self-righteous douchebag about parenting because of something Gisele Bundchen said to calm her kids down, I'd very much want to punch that person square in the throat. 

Just without the last fading or gone. 

And now we move onto Trey Wingo. HARDOOOOOOOO. What a dickhead response. He really took this one to heart. Who hurt you, Trey? We get it man, the Eagles played a better game. Again, Gisele is trying to calm down crying kids. You don't need to take everything so literally. This was not Tom Brady saying it to the media after the game. Chill out. 

Trey has a son. I bet he told his son all about Santa Claus. I bet that self righteous mother also told her kids about Santa (I'm assuming their religions, no offense but also all the offense). So to get your kids to behave you told them if they do not act accordingly then a big fat guy won't break into their house to leave gifts? So these people all lied to their kids in order to calm them down? Instead of just explaining to them that they need to behave just so they aren't assholes in general? They did this in order to potentially calm down crying children? Well then by their logic they are bad parents and not teaching the children the right things. 

So you know what? Don't chill out. Rather, kindly lick a subway pole you uncouth swine. 

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