I Formally Nominate "High" To Act As Our Nation's New National Anthem

In recent years, the "Star Spangled Banner" has come under a bit of scrutiny for a number of reasons. First and foremost it has come to be synonymous with the whole "Kneeling" back-and-forth. Athletes, wth NFL players being among the leaders after Colin Kaepernick first knelt during the playing of the national anthem years ago on the sidelines, have been using this moment to display their own messages and forms of protest and the like. This is not going to be a political thing, don't worry. I just wanted to make sure everyone was up to speed on what's been going on in America the past few years, you know? One day you're obliterating your cell phone with a rusty tire iron after accidentally stumbling upon a Darren Rovell tweet about various ballpark food items, and two years later you finally re-acquire an iPhone only to log onto the Twitter Machine to see that anarchy has indeed broken out on these streets. 

Now, I enjoy the Star Spangled Banner for the most part. When there's a bunch of people all singing it for a sporting event like the World Cup or Olympics, it's a very good song for the blind jubilation. Aside from the possible racial undertones of the rarely-sung lyrics later on in Francis Scott Key's work ("No refuge could save the hireling and slave, From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave" in particular are the lyrics often cited, which has been disputed as actually being written about the British enemies of the War of 1812 and their impressment--you can go read about all this stuff on your own though, you have the same Google that I do.) 

One other common criticism of our current national anthem that does not have to do with politics or racism or other bad things is that it doesn't slap. 

Now, I don't necessarily agree with that statement nor sentiment. I think the Star Spangled Banner is a solid song, but not one I'm always trying to listen to. I'm not gonna roll up to the tailgate and throw on the Key Man. It has its time and place. The Star Spangled Banner is basically like any song off of Beerbongs & Bentleys, because that album was objectively good but also extremely depressing and not for active use. You have to be selective about when you're putting on Beerbongs & Bentleys because that'll suck the life right out of any function with a quickness the likes of which you've never seen before. 

Plenty of countries have strong anthems, the USA included to be frank. France has those rolling drums and trumpets to start it out:

The start of New Zealand's sounds like the start to an actual song that also serves as the opening credits for a 90's sitcom:

And Italy has a nice stop and start going on with their intro:

Not to mention you also get Gigi Buffon singing along to it:

I hope to one day find something that I love as much as Gianluigi loves singing Fratelli d'Italia.

So what are we left to do? Well, we're gonna get ourselves a new national anthem, thats what we're left to do, Chief. 

There are plenty of options for certain. Int'l Players Anthem by UGK and OutKast is always a front runner. Dipset Anthem is another option, but not what I am looking for per se. No, what I have chosen to represent us as Americans moving forward is really the only option at this point. 

Our pal Jeffery released his new EP titled On The Rvn last night, and on it is potentially the greatest song and collaboration of all recorded and unrecorded history. It's titled "High" (ft. Elton John). It samples Sir Elton John's 1972 hit "Rocket Man", and SEX decided to hop on the beat because John is a notoriously big fan of Young Thug and even compared him to John Lennon. 

The outcome of a Young Thug and Elton John collaboration is what many people are calling the song of the millennium. 

After listening to this for the first time a month or so ago when it first leaked as simply "Young Thug-Rocket Man Remix" I knew it was something special. And big things must have been coming because at the time a number of accounts on YouTube and SoundCloud were putting it up and getting it ripped down in minutes. Turns out Thugger went ahead and had it mastered and mixed for this EP as a gift to us, the people.

Now, we have to take a look at the incumbent and the challenger. A Tale of the Tapes, if you will.

And so, I am formally nominating "High" by Young Thug featuring Sir Elton John to be the new national anthem of THESE United States of America. You're welcome.