LaDainian Tomlinson Goes Off On Pats Fans

(h/t DailySnark)

You know why we're saying those things LT? Because we expect noting but perfection. A season with no Super Bowl trip is considered a failure around these parts. We don't stand for mediocrity like the teams you played on. We don't consider the playoffs the ultimate goal like some other loser fanbases. We could win 40-0 and if Brady makes one bad throw people will jump down his throat. It's all we've known since 2001. Super Bowl or bust, and if it doesn't happen we will freak out. Sorry we have higher expectations for our team guy.

PS-LT saying he wished he had Bill as a coach.  That's funny. LaDainian could have tested the waters with the Pats when he was a free agent in 2010. He signed with the Jets for the last two years of his career, and yeah props to them for beating the Pats in 2010-11. The next year? Y'all missed the playoffs LT. Would you have traded that win a year earlier for a chance at the Super Bowl the next, and possibly win a ring? Who knows if LT could have made a difference at that point, but we can wonder.

PPS-Speaking of that Jets game. LT openly criticized the Patriots for mocking Shawn Merriman's sack dance after they beat the Chargers in the '06 Divisional round. He called them classless and said it may come form the coach. He later apologized, but just to Bill, saying he should have kept it to the players. Funny how he calls them classless. Do you remember what happened after that game LT?

I don't know man, seems pretty classless to me. Maybe it came from YOUR head coach? Don't think you were Patriots material anyway. Go sulk on a bench some more dude.

Jill Ellis Releases Olympic Qualifying Roster, No HAO Or Engen

Source-Full 20-player USWNT Olympic qualifying roster: Goalkeepers: Ashlyn Harris (Orlando Pride), Alyssa Naeher (Chicago Red Stars) and Hope Solo (Seattle Reign FC).

Defenders: Jaelene Hinkle (Western New York Flash), Julie Johnston (Chicago Red Stars), Meghan Klingenberg (Portland Thorns FC), Ali Krieger (Washington Spirit), Kelley O'Hara (Sky Blue FC), Becky Sauerbrunn (FC Kansas City) and Emily Sonnett (Portland Thorns FC).

Midfielders: Morgan Brian (Houston Dash), Tobin Heath (Portland Thorns FC), Lindsey Horan (Portland Thorns FC), Carli Lloyd (Houston Dash) and Samantha Mewis (Western New York Flash).

Forwards: Crystal Dunn (Washington Spirit), Stephanie McCaffrey (Boston Breakers), Alex Morgan (Orlando Pride), Christen Press (Chicago Red Stars) and Mallory Pugh (Real Colorado).

At first glance I didn't even realize Heather O'Reilly was left off the roster. Just sort of assumed she'd be there. I mean she took the captain's armband against Ireland a few days ago after Alex Morgan and Carli Lloyd were subbed off. Unless that was a some sort of symbolic gesture by Ellis, as if to say "This is her last ride until after the qualifiers/Olympics, honor her." 

It's kind of a head-scratcher to. No one has more experience than HAO. 228 caps which are 7th-most in team history. With some young faces they could use someone like her, even if she doesn't play a ton. She is one of the fittest and most energetic players win the pool, and still has a lot to give at age 31. 

And the thing is the midfield is a little shallow. Lloyd and Brian will definitely start. Heath and Dunn, listed as a forward, will likely start at wide midfield, but after that it's thin. O'Reilly would be a great Super Sub on the flanks. Heath is the only true wide midfielder on the roster, with Dunn able to play there and at forward. Same goes for McCaffrey, and to some extent Press, though she's proven that she needs to be played at forward to have a true impact. With three players able to play anywhere up front in addition to having Alex Morgan as another striker, I think O'Reilly would have been a smart inclusion. Mal Pugh is the team's wonder kid. She got her first cap and goal against Ireland. But she's still raw and expendable with four other players (Morgan, Press, McCaffrey and Dunn) able to play her spots (forward and wing).I just think, should anything like an injury happen during the tournament, having someone like O'Reilly is beneficial. With the versatility the team has, I'd rather take HAO and her experience.

On Engen, I guess that was more predictable, but I'd still like to see her there. In my mind she's a top-tier defender that has been buried under other world-class defenders. She's a steady constant. You know what you'll get form her. Jaelene Hinkle was iffy in her extended play time the past few months. Krueger and Kling will obviously start, with O'Hara able to play other of those spots as well, so you're covered should anything happen or they need a rest. Sauerbrunn and Johsnton are both able to play defensive midfield as well as cents back, though they may have been promised to be kept out of that spot, which is why I think Sonnett is there. She can play any of those positions. Hinkle benefits form being one of four fullbacks in camp. 

My changes would have been: drop Pugh and Hinkle, add Engen and HAO.
Starting XI with possible subs, or who could start over them. 

Things are subject to change after qualifiers in terms of form, injuries and the fact the roster has to go from 20 to 18, so once the actual 18-player Olympic roster comes out we can evaluate that and look at alternates.

Scottish Soccer Club Asking For Public Help To Find Mascot's Missing Head

Source-It's not the kind of classified advert you stumble across every day, but Scottish lower league side Queen's Park have launched an appeal in a desperate attempt to reunite a hippopotamus with its freshly detached head.

Specifically, Queen's Park are hoping to track down the head of their long-serving mascot, Harry the Hoopo, after it was recently taken from the club pavilion.

Nicknamed The Spiders, the League Two side posted the plea on Twitter while confirming that, while the hunt is ongoing, as of yet no ransom note has been received.

I see 1950's/60's American high school pranks have finally made their way across the pond. Who steals mascots/mascot heads anymore? Regardless, an unfortunate situation for Queen's Park. They're one of the most historic club in all of soccer. Founded in 1867, 3rd in Scottish Cup wins with 10 (their last was in 1893), the only club to have appeared in the FA Cup Final, which they've done twice. They're also the only fully amateur club in the Scottish Professional Football League.I mean the club motto in Latin is literally "to play for the sake of playing". Hate to see this happen to a club with that history and those morals. 

So what does Harry to Hoopo (weird way to spell Hippo by the way, I don't care if they are sometimes called the Hoops. Name him Hoopo the Hippo) even look like? We need to be able to identify him.

Oh my. Alright I see why someone would maybe want to hide that hippo's head. He's ugly. No if's, and's or but's. That's an ugly, ugly mascot. Look at him. He looks like he just got off a three-day crack bender. Dude's eyes are about to roll back into his skull like he's the Undertaker for God's sake. The prison-looking uniform doesn't make it any better, either. 

Kinda shocking no ransom notes either. The type of guy who steals the head from a mascot of an amateur, second division Scottish soccer team is the exact type of guy who then leaves ransom notes, or at the very least some type of calling card. I need whoever did this to keep doing it now though. New age Jack the Ripper, but substitute mascot heads in Scotland for the bodily mutilation of females in London.

PS-Still my all-time favorite mascot in any sport. Meet Kingsley of Patrick Thistle FC, also in Glasgow, Scotland. 

Yeah they're smiling on the outside, but behind those eyes is fear.

Shinji Kagawa Is At It Again, Beats On 27 Japanese Kids

(Start around the 15 minute mark, autoplay doesn't want to work for some reason)

In case you missed the last edition of Shinji Kagawa vs. children...

So this time around he went solo and took on half the kids, which is more impressive in my mind. With a second player you can make short passes to relieve pressure, spread the kids out and make them run in circles since you have world-class athlete lungs/dietary habits and they still get winded running to the fridge for a juice box. Let's break it down...

Right off the bat this game looks fixed. Yeah you could argue its a possible dive, but when I see the goalie clearly stick his stubby leg out and trip Kagawa with no intention of going for the ball, that's a penalty. But the refs swallowed the whistle. Smells fishy...


BOOM! Sticks that forearm out on one kid and then puts another on ice.


Sweet defensive work rate Kags. Who are you, LeBron? Show some pride man.

Catch me if you can – The @S_Kagawa0317 challenge #shinjidream https://t.co/NLHUXTWueg

— Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) January 26, 2016

That's what I'm talking about! He put those kids in a spin cycle. 0 remorse. I will say the goalie could have made a better effort.

What is that dude? You're a goalie, stop the shot. Lay your body out for it. If I'm a scout I immediately cross that kid's name off the list. If you don't have it on you to stop that shot you don't have what it takes to be big time. Can't teach heart.

And yeah, he brought out a second player in the second half and they dominated even more. But I'm choosing to focus on the individual effort here. They ended up taking the top off the defense with long passes and it was the same song and dance as the first video. Also, if you go to around the 20 minute mark there's an incredible sequence where Kagawa has the ball in front of the goal and kids just swarming around him like a beehive. Somehow he maintains most of the possession. Crazy stupid skill.

PS-Next video has to be like 2 v. 100 right? 94 outfield players and 6 goalies? And I'd probably still put my money on Kagawa and whoever he brings along.

Quick Check on My Mental State

This sucks. Every time I think I may be getting over this loss, and don't want to fall into eternal slumber 100%, and that maybe theres a glimmer of hope, it all vanishes. You know where I'm at? I drove 6 goddamn hours from my house, away from my dog, with a splitting headache and sleep-deprived back to school in the middle of mother f'ing New York, missing the 1st half of the game. I had to unpack everything while the second half was going on and slowly watch that team crumble like the venom from a poison dart seep into my bloodstream. 

I've tried moving on. I watched most of the Panthers-Cardinals. I couldn't even get excited or any type of happy for a Cam Newton Dab, and I love Cam Newton Dabs. I watched a few episodes of Always Sunny, didn't crack the slightest smile. I've been listening to Landslide for 4 hours for God's sake, and I probably won't stop. First day of classes for the new semester today (it's 12:44 AM) and I probably won't leave my room. I don't want to see or talk to anyone for the next 4 months. 

You know what got me through the winter last year? The bitter cold? The snow? Basking in the warm glow of a Super Bowl. Now? There's nothing. Eternal cold and darkness. Waking up every morning to the same monotonous thing, and no feeling of purpose. White Walkers will probably breach the Wall and turn me into an ice zombie. Sure, I'll probably jut say its Seasonal Affective Disorder, but we all know thats a lie. Part of me died when the 0:00 showed up on the clock in Denver. It'll be a long time before I'm OK again. 

PS-Red Sox can't get here soon enough. Yeah, I'll hold hope for the Celtics and Bruins, but they won't do jack in the playoffs. Sox and Revs all summer to heal my soul. At least locking myself in my room will get me skinny for Tailgate Season #TailgateSZN

PPS-Sox and Revs will probably suck. Winter will never end.

UPDATE-Yeah, haven't turned off Landslide save for an hour or two when I listened to WEEI and a podcast. Also, built myself up enough to go to class today. First thing my professor brings up? The Super Bowl. And talked at length at how "analyzing it" may be an assignment. And then she showed us the saddest commercial of all time:

Yeah, I'm doing terribly. 

Pats lose AFCCG 20-18, God Does Not Exist

Well that wasn't ideal. As a fan base we were so confident, and deservedly so. On paper we looked like the better team. They just couldn't quite get over the hump all game long. Putrid 1st half, Gostkowski missing the extra point, nothing ever felt quite right all game long. The offensive line is currently in talks to be on the next season off American Horror Story. Brady should make them walk all the way home, that's how bad they were. And he didn't shy away form it postgame to. He talked in his presser about taking shots today and needing to heal up. It's a wake up call to the line and the staff that he needs better protection.

The defense actually played well to. Well enough to allow the offense multiple chances to get back into it. But Brady just kept getting pressured. It was beyond frustrating to watch. And Peyton Manning wasn't spectacular either. Brady outplayed him in the 2nd half; those throws, especially to Gronk on 4th down, were vintage Brady. Some of the play calling was awful to. Just all around a tough one to stomach.

So where do we go from here? I'l say it right now: next year is must-win. It's the last year we have all our best players under contract. After next season there's a very real chance we aren't able to keep all of Chandler Jones, Dont'a Hightower and Jamie Collins. Jones is the likeliest to leave. Here's the upcoming free agent list:

And the list for 2017:

The only lock from the 2016 class I see is Akiem Hicks. Blount, Ebner, Siliga, Develin and Wilson are all probably in the 50%-70% range to come back. In the 2017 class I'd like to see Branch, Sheard, Vollmer, Ninko, Chan, Slater, Dont'a, Bolden, Collins, Ryan and Butler all come back. Leonard Johnson may be another one to sign a team-friendly deal. He showed flashes of promise at the tail-end of the season. Duran Harmon is another 50%-70% guy. I'd like to see Jon Bostic back and get more time in the system because I think he still has potential to break out. LaFell, Cannon, Dobson and Scott Chandler, if not cut this offseason, are all gone after next season barring huge years from any of them. 

Early look at this years NFL free agent class, there are some good names who unfortunately will more than likely re-sign with their teams. Andre Smith was a bit of a headache and inconsistent at right tackle for the Bengals in his early years, but has been a good starter nonetheless. Russell Okung is another tackle that will probably end up back with Seattle. In all honestly, unless they make a trade, I think the Patriots will build offensive line depth through the draft. 

Skill positions may be somewhere to look though. I want to see Bill pursue cornerback Sean Smith AGGRESSIVELY. He's a dude that could make a huge impact opposite Malcolm Butler. At wide receiver there are multiple options. Rod Streater was underwhelming the past few season and could probably be gotten for cheap. Hakeem Nicks, Reuben Randle and Malcolm Floyd are all long shots. Darrius Hayward-Bey or Travis Benjamin maybe? Two guys I'd love are Mohamed Sanu and Alshon Jeffrey. Two big deep threats.

All we can do is speculate until the season officially ends though. Until then, go Panthers I guess. God this is going to suck.

Let's Talk About Brek Shea's Pants

Brek... Come on dude. I know you're wild and eccentric and artsy, but those pants are heinous. I guess his wife brought them back for him from Bali, and I sincerely hope that's true. Because if he bought those on his own A) I need to know where so I can avoid the area and place a 10 mile radius around it, and B) it would mean he's officially gone off the rails. I mean this is the weirdest thing he's done yet.

Ok, never mind. Second weirdest. Though I guess the baby announcement is more weird on his wife's part? Anyway, back to Brek. Listen, I know MLS isn't exactly the gold standard in soccer. It's not quite there yet, but it's getting better. But we CANNOT have guys running around during media week looking like this. Every time the league takes a step forward, its 2 steps back in giant, puffy, green pants. We can't have dudes running around looking like they didn't finish changing out of their Juggalo costumes from the ICP show the night before. 

No time for Aladdin in this league if they want to be taken seriously. 

PS-He plays on a team with Kaka, who's a legend and one of the most God-fearing men I've ever come across. There's not a doubt in my mind he took one look at Brek and his unique personality and thought he was being controlled by Satan. Probably been trying to secretly give him an exorcism for the past year. Filling his bottles with Holy Water and mumbling Bible verses in Portuguese behind him when they walk out of the tunnel. 

Broncos Not Selling AFC Championship Game Tickets To Pats Fans

Source-Tickets for the AFC championship game between the Denver Broncos and the New England Patriots game will go sale to the general public at noon Monday, the Broncos announced Sunday...

Tickets will only be sold to those with a billing address in the Rocky Mountain region, including Colorado, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, South Dakota, Utah, western Kansas and Wyoming. 

Denver is admitting defeat already and the game is still 5 days away. Why else would they limit ticket sales to a specific region that is dominated mainly by their own fans? They're afraid of the big bad wolf. Afraid of the Shadow Lion. Afraid of the Emperor, Keyser Soze, the Hoodie. They're afraid and they know it. They know the game is over already and now are admitting this. They don't want Patriots fans stomping all over their graves at Mile High when the final seconds tick away. 

Denver, you're day of reckoning is coming. Talk all the trash you want. You'll get yours. The bad men are coming. It's almost time for you to meet God. 

The Aaron Ramsey Curse Continues...

Source-Aaron Ramsey's two goals for Arsenal this week have led to an unwelcome internet joke resurfacing.

Many fans have pointed out the Gunners midfielder's goalscoring form coincides with the death of a well-known figure and that the 'curse' has struck again.

Ramsey scored against Sunderland at the weekend and against Liverpool on Wednesday night, a British icon died a day after both matches - music legend David Bowie passed away on Sunday before much-loved actor Alan Rickman died yesterday.

The Welshman's goals have bizarrely come at the same time number of high-profile deaths, following strikes against Manchester United, Marseille, Sunderland and Tottenham in the 2011-12 season.

Spread over the course of a year, the goals were followed by the passing of Osama Bin Laden, Steve Jobs, Whitney Houston and Colonel Gaddafi.

What a cross for Aaron Ramsey to bear. Knowing that every single time you score a goal, someone notable could die. Those aren't even all the names, just the ones people in the U.S. would probably have heard of. It's almost funny in a way. 

And here's a deleted scene from that Aaron Ramsey interview, when my ham-fisted attempt at 'banter' went wrong: pic.twitter.com/hU9A7LZDY8

— Alex Dimond (@alexdimond) June 29, 2015

Oh, never mind. No one with more of a personality than Aaron Ramsey. Can you imagine that curse though? I know he said he doesn't give it much merit, but good God you can only play it off so much until it starts to eat away at your head. I mean yeah, I would still try and score every goal, but part of me would wince that the second that ball hit the back of the net thinking Dave Chapelle or Joe Buck is going to drop dead. That'll eat at you. I guess the best way you can rationalize it is knowing there's a 50/50 chance you end up killing a scumbag. I mean look at the list. Jobs, Houston, Walker, Williams, Bowie and Rickman are all generally accepted to not be the absolute scum of the Earth. Then there's Gaddafi and Bin Laden. That's .batting 250, or basically what Hanley Ramirez hit in 2015 (he was .249). I could deal with that after the first few deaths.

Of course, Aaron Ramsey has no time for such tomfoolery.

We're all having fun here.