Saturday, May 28, 2016

Revs Win 2-1 Over Seattle, Take 2 Of 3 On The Homestead, Head Into Copa Break On A High Note

Win 2 out of 3 on the home stand before the Copa break. 6 of 9 points (nice). This Revs team is on the up and up my friends. What a win against a perennial power, albeit missing some pieces. Won't let that take away form the moment though, you play the team presented to you. Slow start but once the engines were revving (see what I did there?) it was full steam ahead.

-Lineup Notes: Birthday boy London Woodberry got the start at center back (minus the Pogba-esque hair) while Andrew Farrell started at right back. Very interesting move by Jay Heaps switching those two, especially given Woodberry's inconsistent play (even that might be generous) out on the right. Pairing him with a returning JoGo (streaky in his own right) shows Heaps may be mental, but we don't know if its the good type or bad type yet. No Gershon Koffie (sprained knee) or Je-Vaughn Watson (Jamaican national team duties), so Heaps pulled another rabbit out of the hat and SWITCHED FORMATION! Never thought we'd see the day. 4-1-4-1 with Scott Caldwell as the lone DM, middle four full of firepower (Juan, Diego, Lee and Kelyn) and Kei Kamara the lone man up top. Another interesting note that Lee Nguyen keeps the captains armband even though JoGo is back. Same as when Jermaine Jones was still on the team and would wear it while on the field with Jose. Personally, I  like the move. I want my captain to be involved and healthy. As an Arsenal fan I've seen too many captains on the bench, injured or playing poorly.

-Speaking of the captain:
View post on imgur.com

Silver Surfer. I dig the look.

-No Clint Dempsey for the Sounders as he's on US national team duties, but they do have Jordan Morris still. Torn between not wanting him to do well because of tonights game and wanting him to do well because I care about our national team's future No Chad Marshall for Seattle either.

-7th minute: Seattle goal. Got too excited by the formation change and forgot they're still the 2016 Revs.

Piss poor clearance from Bobby Shuttleworth. Kovar grabs the loose ball, pulls the string on Chris Tierney and puts the shot by Bobby.  Just so bad.

-23rd Minute: Bad call on a handball (or lack thereof) that gave the Revs a PK:

Knew we were due for some ref karma from our early season struggles. Lee Nguyen steps up and slots it home to set the Revolution franchise record for PKs with 13 according to PBP man Brad Feldman:

Calm, cool, collected. Beauty of a finish, sneaking it past Frei on the dive and tucking it on the inside of the post. And someone was angry on the internet about it:

Must have gone to the Jesse Marsch School of Class.

-37th Minute: Kei goes for an ambitious kick and Brad Evans takes the brunt of it. Blow to the head that required a sub off. A shot off that foot is no joke.

-43rd Minute: Amazing hustle by Kei Kamara, racing down the field collect a long ball, getting around the keeper and saving it fro going out of bounds, earning a corner kick in the process.

-Revs started to surge as the half went on, and Heaps was more animated than I have ever seen him during the halftime interview, especially expressing how they needed to carry that play into the second half right away and play without any mistakes. You can tell he's really on the brink of explosion, which I guess isn't saying much considering he always looks like that.

- 54th minute: Juan Agudelo off, Teal Bunbury on. Paul Mariner made an interesting point. Teal was warming up during halftime, which makes you think Juan might have picked up a slight knock and told Heaps "I can give you 10 or so minutes but I'll need to come off soon".

-76th Minute: Time for the Femergizer Bunny...



77th Minute: GOAL FEMI! YOU CANNOT STOP THIS KID!

What a goal. Outside the box and skips it in from a tough angle. I've said it before and I'll say it again, what a revelation this guy has been. He's going to a be a key contributor, either as a starter or super sub, for years to come.

A few post-game thoughts:

-I think Scotty proved his worth as the  lone DM. T's a tough position to play and a tough one to employ as a manger unless you have full confidence in your DM and backline, and especially when you're playing such an attacking midfield infant of him. You see teams like Barcelona employ a single DM because of Sergio Busquets, who's world class with a world class center back pairing behind him. There's less cover for a shaky middle two,and Scotty showed he can play that role. I will say that the JoGo-London pairing did a lot better than I expected. Scotty excelling in that role gives more options for midfield combinations on the attacking side of things. Scotty was always available to relieve pressure tonight. Top showing from him. Quiet, just like it should be.

-Farrell was great at right back. More on that lower down that page...

-Might be time to seriously consider starting Brad Knighton. I am no longer at ease with Bobby Shuttleworth in net, he instills zero confidence in me. There were e a few chances that were incredibly nervy at the end, and that I thought he was lucky to come away from unscathed. And the goal, he probably should have had that. Not an easy save, but he's good enough in theory to make a save like that. He's lucky the other 10 guys on his team responded well and fought back.

-Kamara just cant quite get over the hump. He scored 5 goals in nine games for Columbus, but not here. Only had 13 shots on goal for Columbus as well, compared to 6 in New England in two games. Not to say he's not contributing, because drawing two or three defenders and opening things up for your team is certainly playing a positive role. They just can't force too many balls in for him to try and miracle strike to the back of the net. Play the normal game and his goals will come. I am loving his enthusiasm and fan interaction though. Early on he was pumping up the crowd and bringing an intensity to the team. No signs of the headache he was at the end of his time in Columbus.

-Partially part of the Farrell thoughts, the fullbacks looked great bombing up the field on the flanks nd crossing balls into the box. We even saw Tierney and Farrell make some good runs into the box on their own, with and without the ball. Good aggressive play that creates chaos among opposing defenders, especially when you have two guys on the outsides who can do it all, and very well. Something we miss with Farrell primary playing in the middle now.

-Good showing from The Fort tonight. Loud all game and nicely filled out stadium. That lighthouse end was rabid for a goal and exploded when Femi put it home. Summer attendance is finally here for good, and it a beautiful thing to see.

Man of the Match
A lot of good efforts form the boys, and Femi is certainly in the conversation, but I'm going with...

Second straight week for 2 Fast 2 Farrell. Playing right back for the first time this season and he excelled. Great movement up the pitch, had nice control in the attacking third and was able to muscle his way into possession on multiple occasions. He also used his patented slide tackle to snuff out a good chance late in the game. A real solid display in all facets from Andrew tonight. Played a full 90 as well, giving him an edge over Femi for me. 

Revs are off until June 18 in MLS action when they start a three-game road trip in Vancouver to take on the Whitecaps, but they will be in US Open Cup action on June 15 down in North Carolina playing either the Charlotte Independence or Carolina Railhawks FC. Copa America break means no Revs content, barring some major news, but I'll hopefully be going to a Copa game at Gillette and might do post about that experience, and then July 6 starts some primetime Tailgate SZN action.



Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Americans "Dinner For Seven" Recap


Let's get this out of the way before we start. No William for a second straight week. You are KILLING ME Americans/FX writers. Instantly decreases the amount of Vine-able material for these recaps, which I really don't like since it makes me feel like I'm not doing a lot.

Before we start the recap though, quick update. The Americans has been renewed for a sixth and final season scheduled for 2018.

CNN-"The Americans" had been renewed for two more seasons, which will mark the end of the critically acclaimed FX drama's run. 

The extension includes a full 13 episodes for next year, and a truncated order of 10 for a sixth and final season in 2018. 

While the show has never been a major ratings draw, it has generated positive reviews, and accolades from groups like the American Film Institute. Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell star as a pair of Soviet spies, operating on U.S. soil in the 1980s. On a seven-day basis, "The Americans" currently averages a modest 2.2 million viewers. That's down 9% from its ratings for the third season. 

FX chief John Landgraf has stated that critical praise figures in the network's calculations on sticking with a series. The series has always seemed to come with a built-in expiration date, given the eventual fall of the Berlin Wall and end of the Cold War. The current season will end in June. 

In a statement, producers Joe Weisberg and Joel Fields said they were "grateful" to be allowed to see the story through to its conclusion. 

So now we know the rough end date. Two more seasons to hash things out and start to wrap up all the storylines. Makes me think next season will be very similar to this one. A slow burn with some quick action mixed in to keep us reminded the Jennings are absolute badasses. All to set up an absolutely action packed last season. It'll be a lot of excitement for those final 10 episodes. Anyway, let's get into the recap...

-Pastor Tim shows up unannounced basically to say sorry for Alice threatening them. He thought about being a parent and the Jennings family while lost in Ethiopia because eh has never heard of a map or compass. Last part I made up but is totally true. It was what I think is a roundabout way to say "I'm not telling on you guys because of what being a parent means". He seems really skittish and uneasy, but accepts a dinner invite before leaving.

-The center denied the request for an alternate route, meaning the mission with Young Hee and Don must go through. We see Elizabeth sitting in her car waiting for the moment to go through with it and looking like she's gonna puke. I did the same thing before my first job interview.

-Patti drops the bomb: "I'm pregnant." And Don goes stone cold. Tells her it can't happen, she has to get rid of it. And I thought he had her. But then she starts guilt tripping him a little about "not ruining his perfect little life". And Don might crack from that. For the meantime, Don 3:16 just shut you down.


-Stan tells philip about Gaad and basically that Russians do terrible things. LOL THE AUDIENCE KNOWS! IF ONLY STAN ALSO KNEW!

-Oh shit, Philip put the fact Gaad was going to Thailand in his report. He indirectly got Gaad murked.


-Elizabeth drops by Tim's office before picking paige up from choir practice. She starts opening up to Tim like a confessional. I swear to god if Tim ends up running the entire show for his church like a puppeteer... Just having all the players ending up in his lap and confessing sins. What a troll job that would be from Weisberg and Fields.

-Oleg is highly coveted by the FBI, but unfortunately is gonna cost a fortune since the Eagles gave up five picks before the draft (still can't believe they did that). Valuation has been set, you want a franchise changing guy you need to pay a lot up front. FBI is no exception, fork it over.

-Stan does another longwinded thing about how shitty his life is. Oleg's response:



-Stan tells Oleg this is the last time they will meet. He doesn't want Oleg on his conscience after all the things he's had happen. Understandable given the fact the FBI wants to use all sorts of blackmail on Oleg to get him to cross the KGB. I would want no part in that or the repercussions if I was Stan. I don't think his mind could take another awful thing happening. He'd snap like a rubber band around a basketball.

-Time for that weird dinner with two people who know your Russian secret. Henry just invites Stan in, and he makes an awful attempt at pregnant joke



-Major awkward dinner conversation given Stan's fucked up life. Tim and Alice likely never dealt with someone whose been through it as many times as Stan. Henry just tosses out Stan being FBI, really weird given the fact Tim and Alice know about the Russians they are at dinner with as well. What a dynamic at that table. Henry, poor kid just out of the loop.

-God that dinner seems like the most awkward thing ever. Can't say it enough. Stan is definitely not a Jesus freak, and works for the government which Tim actively protests against.

-Philip, Gabriel and an old lady (the one Not Nina asked Oleg for, old computer expert who speaks perfect english) go to the lab to see Don, posing as Patti's family. They pull out the "Patti's dead. Suicide." line. Ultimate guilt trip. They demand money for Patti's funeral costs, Philip takes him to the back, Gabriel and Old Lady guilt trip Don into letting them say behind, and they go snooping. I refuse to take back the earlier images. #TeamDon #Don3:16

-Elizabeth is back to talk to Tim. Talking about Stan and not choosing their neighbors or each other. She thanks him for doing a lot for Paige. Sort of just seemed like filler with a lot of metaphor and fancy talk.

-I feel like Don may kill himself now. Also, did Philip just take all that man's money???

-Neil deGrasse Tyson calls Stan over too his desk after finding a curious detail on a report regarding the Martha situation. This stems from Gaad freaking out on the mail robot and breaking it, and if you remember correctly, Philip and Elizabeth broke into the repair facility to plant a bug in it, but Elizabeth ended up killing the owner's mother in that hard to watch scene. In the report it says Martha covered for Gaad. So tying together Martha, the mail robot and a curious death at the repair shop where the robot was, they could be onto something. Unbelievable the Mail Robot could end up a major piece in the development of the plot. Mail Robot, so hot right now, Mail Robot.

-Gabriel and the other lady didn't find any level 4 codes in the office but copied Don's hard drive hoping they're somewhere in there. Philip doesnthink he'll (Don) tell Young Hee, but Elizabeth is still obviously torn up about it. I feel like a broken record saying that multiple times every week, but you can see it on her face how much the whole situation pains her.

-Young Hee leaves Patti a message sounding disturbed and upset about Don's behavior lately. Problem is Patti is dead in kayfabe.

-Elizabeth goes to pick Paige up form some food bank thing and is now looking to Pastor Tim since the Young Hee situation is eating at her. He says she should pray. Her response:


Savage. And then he gives her the old "you don't have to believe for it to make you feel better" talk.

-Paige is starting to understand spy-thought. Elizabeth explains there's guilt looming over the heads of Pastor Tim and Alice which could work to the Jennings' advantage. Paige tells Elizabeth about Matthew telling her about Martha. Yeah, your mom knew nothing about that Paige. That woman def didn't bang your dad on the reg either. They get approached by two bums in the parking lot asking for a cigarette but really trying to rob them and probably have sex with them without consent. One makes a move on Paige, Elizabeth clocks him and turns the second guys knife on him, killing him. Paige starts crying and the book it out of there.

Big time ending. This is huge since Paige was under the impression her parents didn't do that sort of physical stuff. Know she's gonna question everything all over again. The obvious cover up for Elizabeth here is to say they were obviously trained to do that sort of stuff in case they needed t defend themselves (like the situation that just happened) but rarely, if ever, get to or have to use the skills they learned. Obviously it won't play out like that. That would be far too easy.

Next weeks preview:


Only two episodes left everyone. Feels like we say it every year now, but I mean it this time. It's going down the next two weeks.




Hit me up with theories, questions, comments, let me know if you think I missed anything here, the whole 9 on Twitter @TheSituAsian508. Имейте хороший товарищей, Он горит.



Wednesday, May 25, 2016

I'm Just Getting Caught Up On The Captain America News From Today, And It's All Preposterous


To be honest, I really don't know which thing came first. I think the "Captain America should be gay" one did. #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend. I have no issues with the LGBTQ community. Do you as long as you don't annoy me, that's my motto for literally everyone on the planet. But I mean, come on. Captain America has been around since 1941. Steve Rogers was born in 1920. He is literally heterosexual in canon. A good-looking superhuman like that who has been around for 96 years would have at least dabbled with a dude in his near 10 decades on the planet. If it hasn't happened naturally yet, don't try and force it on him. Let the man live his life. Maybe he doesn't want a boyfriend? Hell, I don't think he wants a girlfriend either. Cares so much about his missions he can't be bothered with romantic endeavors. He has plenty of time, none for that. Just create a new gay superhero. I'll get you started. His alias is Jason Smith. His day job is in PR and marketing. Works in New York City, but lives in Hoboken because it costs less. Only has one car because his boyfriends (named David, half black guy whose mom is from Jamaica) job requires a lot of travel so having two wouldn't make much sense economically. As a child he went exploring with his best friend Paul at an old toxic waste facility (pretty sure those exist, don't quote me) and they were exposed to radiation that mutated them. Paul gained the ability to produce fire form his body (think flames coming froths fingertips and all that), but he turned evil after years of fighting by Jason's side. Jason got claws that grow out of his arms, superhuman strength and superhuman helming powers, and shit I just made Gay Wolverine. Trademarked though, so if you take it to press or screen I WILL sue you.

Onto the whole Nazi thing. Maybe not the route I would have taken, but to each his own I guess. Being a Hydra plant since 1941 is one hell of a long con. Captain America was created by Jewish guys as a symbol of hope during World War II, so turning him into a Nazi is a BOLD strategy by Marvel. People are saying that making him gay wouldn't ruin his character, but making him a Nazi does. Counterpoint: as previously stated, Cap's character isn't a gay one. Being a Hydra agent the whole time is plausible. He just made a heel turn. He'll drop the title to John Cena or Finn Balor in a few months, don't worry. Or he'll turn on Hydra/The Authority and be a face again. Nothing to worry about, it was all about plot development. You can un-be a Hydra agent, you can't un-be gay.

But what would Internet controversy be without Tweets:

If Donald Trump created this whole controversy to somehow rack up votes that would maybe be the greatest political ploy of all time. Don't even know how it would be possible but now my brain is in a pretzel.
Maybe take a walk, or acquire a hobby that doesn't involve gay/anti-semitic superheroes.
You mean to tell me Marvel, a for-profit entertainment company, is only concerned about money? I do not believe you, Renay, The Cabal. That's just a hot take you spouted off. We're trying to be serious here.
A good investment, NOT! Take a tip from Jason Smith/Gay Wolverine *PAUSE* and be fiscally responsible. Never know when that comic will be worth something and you need the cash to pay your bills.
This is a fair trade off to be honest.
Counterpoint: now Nazis have a comic book/movie superhero of their own. Would be pretty selfish to take that away from them. You don't wanna be that guy.
These are just the facts. Try and tell me he could be gay in his original era when gay people were not even a real thing since Macklemore was born 42 years later. Impossible. Like telling me I could play basketball before Yao Ming was drafted in 2002. Just wasn't an option.
Nothing to say other than any excuse to post Xavier Woods being awesome is a good excuse.

I wanted to make fun of all the people actually being upset over a fictional being not becoming gay based on the desires of people wont he internet despite the canonized facts of the character, and then that character becoming a Nazi. I mean, this stuff really doesn't matter. It's trivial. You shouldn't be getting so mad and passionate over something so stupid.

Yeah, go ahead and be mad over Captain America everyone.

PS-Even though there were legit gripes over media coverage/the NFL's authority and idiocracy/slandering multiple names and entities over a sham.


Saturday, May 21, 2016

Hello Darkness My Old Friend: Revs Take The L At Home Against Dallas 4-2



After a nice win that saw this team look like they were ready to start the season fresh and string together some good results, we are right back at square one. Bottle job after bottle job after bottle job. I went from a really good mood full of positivity to an immovable scowl on my face. Lets get this over with.

-Lineup Notes: Tierney back to left back, Rowe and Agudelo start at the wings, Kei up top, Nguyen gets the armband. Biggest surprise is Samba (I guess he isn't going by Sambinha anymore?) getting the start at center back next to Farrell. JoGo still not in the 18, and rather than move Watson there again Heaps rolled out Samba after a few minutes last match. Barnes and Woodberry the only defenders left and on the bench, and both fullbacks. Serious firepower on the bench as well, with Diego, Femi and Teal.

-I was salivating to see the damage Tierney could do with Kei Kamara as a target.

-3rd minute: Bobby gets a yellow card and called for a penalty.

Thought Barrios had stepped on Bobby and rolled his knee rather than Bobby going through him, and I still think that may be the case. Bobby didn't intentionally go at his knees, he went to play the ball on the ground as it came down, but when Barrios touched it over him they got a little tangled up, he clipped part of Bobby's leg with his left leg which then got caught in the turf a little and twisted. Wasn't sure it was a penalty initially, but I have no complaints about the call either. I can see the argument for either side. Dallas converted the penalty.

-A good/frustrating flurry for the Revs around the 17th/18th minute as Lee hit the crossbar for what PBP man Brad Feldman called a league leader tying 3rd time. Kei and Juan got caught in a jumble in front of the net soon after but nothing was happening. Still seems like they can't get over the proverbial hump.

-Kei Kamara jumps very high.

-Like I wrote above, the ball just sticks to Lee Nguyen. He has some serious control, and it showed early.

-Nervy moment as Koffie bent his knee really awkwardly and was down for a few moments clutching the leg. He was fine eventually, but it looked like the worst fears had come to life.

-24th minute: Juanny Futbol!!!!!!

Nice set piece, the service from Lee was spot-on and Juan's header had fantastic pace on it. Great answer, and its nice to have Tierney back. Having two free-kick specialists using different feet is much more dangerous  and gives you so many more options with plays based on the direction you want the ball going or spinning.

-26th minute: CAN YOU FEEL THE WINDS OF MOMENTUM SHIFTING!!!!!

 Good call from the ref, who was correct on the Dallas call as well. Lee cool as ice slots it home and the Revs answered back in convincing fashion.

-Unfortunately Gershon Koffie could not continue. He went back down and was replaced by Diego right after the second goal. He seemed pretty calm while on the ground, and Feldman later said it was a right knee sprain. Not good, but at least it isn't a tear of anything. Really wouldn't want to lose him for the whole season. Feldman made another interesting note when Diego came on instead of Kobayashi. He said that showed Heaps going for the jugular and bringing on more firepower. Daigo is definitely more of a closer you bring in at the end of games to shore up the midfield.

-37th minute: it was fun while it lasted. Dallas ties it up via Atiba Harris' header that beats Bobby near post.

Bobby gets a hand on it but cant keep it out. Sums Bobby Shuttleworth up.

-Iffy 1st half for Samba. MLS debut could have started better. He was good except for when he had the ball at his feet. Control wasn't there, and it may just be needing time to climate to the turf in the stadium.

-The Lee to Kei goal is so class I can taste it. Much like the Revs season, it's right there until the last possible moments when something goes awry. Gonna be so awesome when it finally happens though.

-Fabian Castillo almost went absolute HAMMERTIME on the Revs 10 minutes into the second half. Made such a nice run that was cleared out of harms way in the box. I can see why Dallas fans are always slobbering over him.

-Didn't like how we gave up a lot of corners. 8 before the 60th minute isn't great, I'll be honest.

-Tierney on a short leash coming off an injury means he was replaced by Daigo in the 67th. Kelyn goes to fullback and Japanese Santi Cazorla fills in next to Scotty.

-70th Minute: What I said about Samba? Yeah he didn't get much better during halftime. Absolutely whiffs on a clearance and lets Castillo walk in and put one past Bobby
I have made the executive decision that he is Sambinha still. I will decide when he's ready to graduate to Samba.

-75th: FEMI TIME! ENERGIZER BUNNY ALL UP IN YOUR GRILLMIX!


He's the Femergizer Bunny. Boom. Print it.

-Right before the end Dallas scored again to put it away. Akindele. I dont know, just roll it.

That was really it for the game action. I was a Bobby Shuttleworth defender early this season. No more. He's bad. I understand he can't stop them all, but the set piece header probably should have been saved. Interior defense had two holes tonight, Bobby and Sambinha. Dallas exploited them. Much like that Lee to Kei goal, we were really good up until the brink of it and then absolutely peed down our legs. This team is so frustrating.

Speaking of Kei, I think he caught the Revolution anti-scoring bug. Some chances the past two games he really should have buried but it just went in the cards. I love the hustle he showed all game and especially at the end when the game was decided. Everyone needs to follow his lead. Jump on his back fellas.

Man of the Match
Underrated choice, but I'm giving it to da big guy...
Wait, wrong big guy...


2 Fast 2 Farrell needs more appreciation. He was playing with his third defensive partner since the LA game, and one making his MLS debut against the second place team in the entire league. He had some real nice slide tackles and showed good instincts as the elder statesman (at age 24) of the central defense. He needs JoGo healthy to get the cohesiveness back, but good work from him tonight that the score won't necessarily reflect.

We have Seattle at home next Saturday night, 730 PM. Tentative plans are to officially kick off #TAILGATESZN and ease into a possible Copa America game before really hitting the ground running with the Revs starting in July. Five possible games starting July 6 to get lit. Gotta get the bad juju out of the building, maybe bury the ball from tonight and get the grills roaring next weekend. We will rectify this and get the ship back on course.

Lee Nguyen Left Out Of U.S. Copa America Roster

I didn't even realize today was the day Jurgy would be releasing the roster. I'm torn about Lee's exclusion. He is absolutely one one the best attacking midfield options the United States has to offer right now. Fans constantly preach about needing creativity in the midfield, and Lee brings that in spades. Watching Revs games would tell you that. He is so often the focus of other teams gamelans that it leaves other players open, only helping Lee out since he's so good with the ball that he can take on that pressure and distribute to teammates accordingly. So I really thought he should be in the squad for the big tournament.

But then I started to think. I put the country aspirations aside and focused on the club. By being left out we get Lee for the games he potentially would have missed on June 18 and 22. I mean I'm not saying the U.S. will make it that far, but theres a chance. A slim, slim chance. So now we dont have to worry about that. We don't have to worry about him missing time to go to training camp ahead of CA2016. We dont have to worry about him missing time coming back from CA2016. We don't have to worry about potential burnout form being on a different training schedule and regiment. We dont have to worry about reintegrating him in a short amount of time, which would break any cohesiveness this squad on an upward trend has. He gets to build even more chemistry with Kei Kamara. We can capitalize on teams whose players had to leave for the tournament with a nearly full strength side. Having Lee with the team could be huge for us.

Oh and Je-Vaughn Watson was selected to Jamaica's squad. Less worried about him for the reasons above since he plays a different position, meaning less interaction with other players on the Revs when on the field. Less time to build that chemistry back. Also I'm not exactly giving a hot take by predicting Jamaica do not make it very far at all. Less of a chance than the U.S. to win it all.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

The Americans "Munchkins" Recap


Another episode with not a lot of action, but the character and plot developments are something that can't be understated. We may not get the Jennings killing a bunch of people in weird ways, but the stories all progress in order for us to get to that point. As much as it may suck sometime, we have it be patient, because those scenes will come. We just need episodes like this one to get us there. Worst part about the episode? No William. Stop doing this to us writers. Give the people what they want. I got a ever, and the only cure is more William.  

-Started off with Patti sharing an awkward dinner with Don and Young Hee. Well, awkward on Don's end. YH obviously has no clue whats happening yet, and Elizabeth/Patti does. Don really has no clue how to act; he doesn't know he's being blackmailed yet, he just thinks he got too drunk and slept with his wife's friend. And Elizabeth looks even more hesitant to go through with this. She mad fun of and chastised Philip for getting too involved with his agent (Martha), but know she has to put on his shoes and go for a long walk. She doesn't want to end a friendship and a marriage, and its showing.

-Philip tells Paige that his mom more or less kicked ass in Siberia. He told a story about how he had a job after school as a kid and once his boss tried to short him on his pay. His mom went to the boss and when she came back, Philip was getting his pay in full. Something tells me Mrs. Philip's Mom wasn't doing the Happy Gilmore Mom.

-The new FBI guy is a margin Nazi...

-The big plot of the episode is that Pastor Tim went missing in Ethiopia. He and another guy went off on their own to visit a different village and never came back. Alice shows up at the Jennings house and gets super bitchy telling them she made a tape about who they are, and that if anything happens to her or Tim, or the Jennings were in any way connected to it, the tape goes to the state department. She refuses to lower her voice so Henry won't hear and basically does the fingers-in-ears "lalalalala" when they try and talk to her. Hey Alice, you think Tim maybe just got tired of putting up with that? 

-Oleg and Not Nina just showing off and doing sex right in our faces for a second straight episode. Guys, I let it slide once already, I see right through the humble brag.

-Not Nina is in a "department you don't talk about". Oleg mentions "12", and some research (looks like I'm a real-life journalist) shows they may be talking about the 12th Chief Directorate, which dealt with the nuclear arsenal of the Soviet Union and was extremely secretive. She needs a favor from Oleg, which is to bring over a person from his department in Moscow who is a woman between 50 and 60, speaks perfect english and is a computer expert. Obviously those types of people are just laying around and collecting dust over there.

-Paige gets to questioning the convenience of the timing of Pastor Tim going missing. He goes to a Soviet-Friendly country and goes missing. Suspicious. She of course doesn't know the conversations her parents had about making sure nothing bad happening to Tim and Alice so that Paige won't hate them. Philip does actually question if there was any way the Center went behind their backs on this matter considering there are a good number of comrades in Ethiopia, to which Elizabeth tells him he's worse than Paige with his theories. 

-Tim's Jeep was found with no one in it. Looking real bad since Alice threatened them with that tape. Alice has to deal with the massive baby bump, her back because of it, all the other problems carrying a child brings and Tim's disappearance, so why not add Paige just latching her arms around her in a hug? Good lord, I'm not a fan of Alice but let's not put any more physical stress on her than she already has. 

-Stan and Neil deGrasse Tyson have a drink with Martha's dad, who tries to tell them Martha is too smart for manipulation. Oh, that's awkward. Nonetheless, he asks them to not give up on finding her. Guys, you aren't getting her back, at least not for a very long time.

-Elizabeth goes full mom talking about Henry playing hockey with a tennis ball on the garage door...

Just like my mom, expect my mom yelled from somewhere in the house to cut it out.

-Philip and Elizabeth tells Paige they'll all probably have to leave for Russia (implied) if Alice sends the tape. And she comes back with maybe the most unwarranted "Are you serious?" tirade ever. What do you mean "Are you serious?" Paige? Are YOU serious? Yo, you told people your parents were Russian spies, what the hell do think will have to happen if those people tell on them? You guys just get sprayed with some water like a dog who peed on the floor? Use your brain for once.

-Gaad gets approach by Russians in his hotel while on his Asian vacation. They say they have a proposal for hime and after the continued refusals, he tries to run, but ends up getting tackled through the glass door and taking a shard to the side. He bleeds out and dies.

Which means I have to.

I am truly sorry Agent Gaad. You will be  missed. But Internet Law rules over these parts, and it states I must do that to you. Nothing personal. 


-Later on both Arkady and Stan/Neil Tyson find out and both actually seem very distraught. Arkady no doubt wanted to try and turn him but didn't mean to kill him. This will just escalate things even more.

-Kimmy is back! I didn't even realize her plot line was still going on. There was no mention of her or the situation regarding planting bugs in her dads briefcase for a long time. But it didn't hurt to rehash it and show us Philip switching out the bugs. Then he went back to the porch to amore more weed with a teenager, who is finally dating someone her own age. She spills that her dad doesn't work for the State Department, but rather the CIA. Philip tells her she shouldn't have told him her dads secret because it could have made her closer to her dad. Thats obviously a call to whats happened with Philip, Elizabeth and Paige. Side note, how high was Kimmy here?

-The writers found a long-winded way to get Matthew into the church. Paige goes looking for Henry, Matthew invites her on, they talk a little, Matthew tells her about the Martha situation after page asks him about Stan being an FBI agent, Paige tells him about Pastor Tim, she realizes she needs to get going to get to the church, realizes she doesn't have a ride unless she goes to ask her parents, Matthew offers and then boom. Matthew goes in with her and she introduces him to a fellow guitar player who will undoubtedly invite him to play with the church choir or whatever they have. As you'll see own next week's preview, Tim and Alice have dinner with Matthew and Stan. That'll throw the world's biggest wrench into everything. 

-While we're at the church, we find out Tim has been found. Get this, he just got lost. Jeep ran out of gas, they got out and tried to walk on foot and just got lost. Dude, you ever mission trip before? You didn't bring a compass or a map to help guide you? You serious bro? The whole point of that plot line was to show another threat to Philip and Elizabeth. Paige ends up not asking for the tape right after since she decided it would be better to not raise any unnecessary suspicions right after Tim is found. She's starting to think like a spy.

-Young Hee leaves a message for Patti in a bad state. She's really worried and broken up about Din's behavior and now believes there really is something wrong. The whole time the message is playing you can see just how disturbed and unwilling to commit Elizabeth is. She stays conflicted while meeting with Gabriel to end the episode. He asks her of she would like him to ask the Center if there is another way to get Level 4 access other than the Don plan. And Elizabeth finally drops the tough guy/stubborn act by admitting that yes, she does want to find another way. She's showing she's more human than just being Elizabeth Jennings, mom and travel agent. She has emotions now, just like Philip did. 

Next weeks episode looks like some real shit. Don maybe being stone cold (possible Crying Jordans for that situation?) and obviously the whole Tim/Alice/Stan thing ready to get going. Here's the video preview:


Hit me up with theories, questions, comments, let me know if you think I missed anything here, the whole 9 on Twitter @TheSituAsian508. Имейте хороший товарищей, Он горит.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

THE REVS WIN! THE REVS WIN! 2-0 OVER CHICAGO!

OH ITS LIT FAM! THE REVOLUTION WON A SOCCER GAME! MIRACLES HAPPEN! SOMEBODY CUE THE MUSIC!!!
(That's my decision for our victory music this season, deal with it haters)

Perfect slump buster scenario: at home to start a three-game home, and against Chicago who is coming off a loss Wednesday across the continent and in a different country (Canada). A Chicago side that is last in the league. And your new firepower debuting. I mean what a sight this is...


And they delivered! I can't believe it, I was so accustomed to draws and bad losses, I forgot what a win feels like. And this one is non (aka less) controversial fashion! Lets get it going...

-Lineup Notes: Bizarro World Lineup (again). Kei Kamara gets his first start up top after just one training session. Juan out to the right wing, Kelyn Rowe to right back. JoGo out, so Watson slides next to Farrell. London Woodberry takes the left back spot. Charlie Davies, Teal Bunbury, Donnie Smith, Chris Tierney and JoGo all out with injuries. And Lee Nguyen gets the captain's armband for the first time in his Revs career.

-Smoother transition than some would have thought for Kamara since the Revs, like Columbus, use the lone striker system. That familiarity with the role showed through his movement. Definitely a better situation than having to change the formation entirely. His runs on the break were crisp, especially when going down the right when Juan could serve him a through ball. 

-I was nervous about our defense, I mean even more than I already was, considering it was anything but full strength. Farrell is talented but is guaranteed a mental lapse and mistake per game. Watson forced to play center back again, and he's a really streaky player who is currently on a bit of a down streak. London Woodberry gets exploited pretty much every time he's on the field. And a guy who's playing right back for the first time ever in Kelyn Rowe. I'm happy to say I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe it was just because it was Chicago, but London didn't look awful, Farrell looked like the player we know he can be 24/7, Watson may be clawing himself out of his slump, and Rowe did not play like a guy who had never been a right back before. A solid effort from a less than ideal back line.

-Playing Rowe on the right was a good tactical move by Heaps. Even though London's natural position is right back, I think we can all agree Rowe is more talented and has a better cross. Putting Kelyn in the position to bomb up the field and put balls into the box for someone with good aerial ability like Kei Kamara with his good foot takes priority. Not to mention putting him on the same side as Andrew Farrell, the most experienced center back available for the Revs right now. He may have a mental lapse here and there throughout the game, but you can't say he doesn't know what he's doing back there. Letting him direct Kelyn a little and cover him while he moves up the flank was big for making Rowe feel more comfortable in a position he had no experience with. Obviously he wasn't totally comfortable there, but it could have been worse.

-Chicago's counter looked fast and dangerous early, they just couldn't string the last pass together. Gilberto got free early on but the pass was too long and went right to Bobby.

-23rd minute Lee scores:
Just a stunner. Beautifully worked set piece, fantastic movement off the ball and Lee on the first touch just curls it home. I'm sure a lot of people had their money on Kei scoring first, especially considering the Revs were trying to feed him early and often. But the (temporary) captain shows us why he's one of the best America has to offer.

Another angle...
-Rest of the first half had a few Revs chances, but they didn't really have much of a shot to convert them. Chicago couldn't do much, ad overtime it looked like they could start something, they either misfired on a pass or had the attack snuffed out by the Revs defense. Credit to Andrew Farrell who was stout back there, and laid out on one occasion to keep the ball off Gilberto.

-Revs got a little lucky in terms of cards. Woodberry got a yellow in the second half, and Offie got one in the first. Either of them could have been sent off in the 61st minute when they converged on David Accam, and really one of them (probably Koffie) should have been. Koffie got subbed off soon after, considering he was really on pace for a second yellow. He also needs to go five games without another yellow or else he gets a ban due to accumulation. Him getting ONE yellow in five games may be the lock of the century.

-72nd minute=FEMI TIME! He came on for Fagundez, and right off the bat was his usual Femi self. The energy this kid brings is so awesome to see. Diego made a few nice moves but nothing of note. Femi just brings something different. His attacking mentality and confidence for someone so young and a low draft pick who didn't get any time in preseason due to injury has been a revelation.

-Oh yeah, 84th minute...

FEMI! IT'S LIT! First goal for the rookie. Beauty of a chip from and Femi buries the header to seal it. So happy for him, he got robbed a few weeks back on that own goal call. Finally he gets rewarded for the work he puts in.

-Sambinha got his first action right after, coming in for Juan, so Kelyn moved up to the wing, Watson to left back, and the former Sporting Lisbon man went to central defense. Not enough time to actually make an impression, but hey, at least he'll go into the books as actually playing. Doesn't hurt.

I was impressed by Kei Kamara's debut. A full 90 for him after a whirlwind week. Obviously he's only been a Revolution player for two days and has just one training session under his belt, but the chemistry he already has with players like Lee and Juan is a very good sign. I mean him and Lee looked like lifelong teammates out there. The more time he gets to gel with the team and learn what Heaps wants him to do, the better he'll be, which is scary to think about considering he was already very good in his first match for the team. Like I said above, he made some real nice runs on the break already, and he got some looks at goal, including a bike attempt that would have been quite the way to open his account in New England.

I'm excited to see what a fully healthy attacking battery will look like. Having Davies or Teal or Juan or Femi as a change of pace off the bench, the speed and shiftiness against Kei's aerial ability and strength. Having that many attacking players may not be ideal in terms of getting everyone minutes, but having two or three of them on the bench and Kei starting means more guys opponents have to scout, versus knowing if Kei comes off, so-and-so is definitely on and they know how to stop them. The variety of attacking options and small nuances in their individual games could be deadly.

This looked like a completely different team. They played with more creativity, confidence and swagger than I have seen to this point in the season. I don't think it was all because of Kamara, but he must have played some sort of role in the mindset of the Revs. It was like night and day comparing last week, or any other week, to this game. It got a little too cute at time; one pass too many, an extra touch when it wasn't needed. But for the most part, fantastic effort from the boys. They finally kept their foot on the gas instead of letting another team back into the game, like we've seen before this year. They need to string to gather a few more games like this, and ideally it would be win the next two at home and the one after those away, but if they do I won't hesitate to officially declare them back.

Man of the Match
Seems fitting given the outcome...
Lee Nguyen, man. He was always creative, but Kei Kamara will bring out the best of him. Beauty of a goal to start things off, worked some good one-twos with Kei and his vision was on point. As much as I want him as fresh as possible this season, He needs to play in Copa America this summer. It would be criminal for Jurgen to not pick him if he's healthy. He brings what the national team needs; that creativity and, as Kyle Maritno put it in pregame, "magic".

Home against Dallas next Saturday at 730. Let's keep it rolling and go on a nice run to get back in the top half of the Eastern Conference. Summer Slump may have come early, meaning plenty of sunshine and good games ahead. Pipe it up. Tailgate Szn is here.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

The Americans "The Day After" Recap


Oh, you thought I was dead? You thought these weren't happening anymore? Well guess what...





I mean, if you read my latest post you'd know I'd be back, but I needed an excuse to use those. Interesting episode that saw a plot finally start to play out. There were some good moments in it, and the heavy focus was on the Jennings family. Hardly any Stan or Oleg, zero action in the Rezidentura, really just the Phillip and Elizabeth plot with some small side stuff sprinkled in. Let's go.

-Like we saw at the end of the last episode, they took us on a 7 month time jump. From when Gabriel tells them no new missions it skips ahead.

-Paige is learning how to drive and Phillip is making dad jokes:
-I now realize with better clarity why parents send kids to driving school (other than the fact its now mandatory). I mean my mom got me going a little. Slow stuff in the culdesac next to our house. Not a chance she would take me out into traffic in my small hometown, never mind DC traffic (I imagine even DC suburb traffic is awful, roll with it.)

-Stan and Phil (can I call him Phil?) chumming it up playing some racquetball. Stan unfortunately broke up with Tori, his girlfriend that ratted Phil out. Just instantly brings the mood down with his reasoning: "She just wasn't Sandra, ya know?" Jesus dude, be more of a buzzkill.

-He also talks about his overbearing and asskiss of a new boss and the underlings that wipe the directors feet. This will come into play at the end of the recap. But he does mention its fine as long as they stop the Russians. Awkward.

-William signals them without signaling Gabriel. That means...

William Moment of the Week



-He tells Phil there's a new virus in the lab that liquefies your insides and makes blood pour out of your skin. Both he and Philip contemplate not telling the Center. they think its becoming too much, and William in particular doesn't trust the Russians with it. But he also doesn't trust the Americans...
 vine


-The movie "The Day After" airs in this episode, and there's a really cool scene where the different characters are watching it. The Jennings and Stan and Matthew, the Korean people, William, Oleg and Not Nina, and Arkady. They all seem to be really shaken by the film. Phillip even mentions not giving the new virus to the Center to Elizabeth afterwards, which she of course shoots down. But we can still see Phillip's continuous inching towards defection or going rogue. 

-The Korean plot line was being dragged on for far too long, so it was nice to see it progress in this episode. At first I had no idea what the endgame was; they really gave no indication as to what the purpose of the story was to start. But know we know it's all about the dad, Don. I think he's the way to get Level 4 access for William? But basically Elizabeth needs to get dirt on him so he'll cooperate, She offers to babysit three young Asian children while the couple are away, which is the only indicator I need to know she's batshit insane. I don't know what it is, but when we're young and left with any sort of authority figure other than our parents, we go absolutely bananas. I wouldn't wish having to deal with that on my worst enemy, other than Roger Goodell (bite me Rog).

-She somehow gets the kids to bed (I thought she would either drug them or kill them), and she starts snooping throughout the house to find something she can use against Don. At one point she finds some good ol' VHS porn and pops it in, hoping to find an extramarital sextuple. Instead she finds regular porn, and FX was gracious enough to show us the "alright" parts, like a dudes ass while he does the deed. You get the idea. Shots to FX for basically showing vintage porn on live television.

-She cant find anything on him, so she has to resort to plan B and do him dirty. She gets him back to her (Patty's) apartment by asking favors and drugs his wine when she asks him to taste test it. He gets KO'd and she stages a hook up. Rubs some stuff on his junk to make him thin they got it on, how you doin?



-He wakes up and, because he got date raped, can't remember anything, but Elizabeths plan works and he scampers out while repeating "I'm sorry" like any Asian does when they think they've messed up. He's so polite and innocent that anyone, literally ANYONE, besides Elizabeth would not have gone through with it, both the fake sex and the exploitation that is to come.

-We finally see Elizabeth with a good moral conflict she has to deal with. Two(?) seasons ago when she was with that old lady, she just killed her in the end. Now she has to see what she's done whenever she needs info from Don. She has to deal with the fact she may end a marriage, and one involving someone she might have actually considered a real friend. She even says at the end of the episode she's going to miss Young-Hee. She may finally see what Philip has gone through in the past.

-Oh yeah, Oleg and Not Nina are together and they had sex. Congrats on the sex you two.
Couldn't find this gif to link this morning, so here it is.
-They also mention the fact that Russian technology is way behind and it's becoming dangerous. I don't know if this will play out this season, but it'll come backing play down the road. They wouldn't just drop that in this episode unless it would be important in the end.

-Philip goes to church event with Paige, and Pastor Tim pulls him aside. Tim almost seems like the one threatening in this situation, which is odd to see. Philip is almost never on the defensive. Tim wants to have a meeting with the Jennings clan sans Henry when the church return form their mission trip to Ethiopia (again, important next episode).

Next week's episode is titled "Munchkins". Remember what Stan said about the people kissing the directors ass? He called them "The Munchkins". Also, Tim and Alice will play a big role in next weeks episode. Here's the preview:



Hit me up with theories, questions, comments, let me know if you think I missed anything here, the whole 9 on Twitter @TheSituAsian508. Имейте хороший товарищей, Он горит.

Revs Acquire Kei Kamara From Columbus

Wooooooowwww. Wowowowowowow. Blockbuster trade, and the second one involving New England after we sent Jermaine Jones to Colorado. Kamara scored 22 goals last season but has been in a contract dispute with the Crew, leading them to look for trade partners. Since Kamara is a DP he could only go to teams that still had a DP slot open. You know who's notorious for never filling all their DP slots? The Revs. What a long con. The attitude issues absolutely worry me (Crew fans used the phrase "There's no Kei in team" as of late) but as long as he scores I'm sure he'll be a happy camper. Goals=$$$. You score and the front office will pay you for that production. And we didn't give up any players, just an international roster spot and money. So Kamara joins an already talented strike force that he will hopefully wake up, and then goals will be coming out of our ears.

Have to wonder if someone like Lee Nguyen, who's had his own contract disputes recently, feels a little slighted. I mean bringing in a DP when you yourself believe you deserve more money isn't exactly a recipe for positive energy. And there was incident a few days ago where he argued with Federico Higuain over taking a penalty kick, and Lee does that here as well. But hey, if there's any team who should be taking these risks and experimenting, it's New England. Welcome Kei.





Saturday, May 7, 2016

Quick Update, No Americans or Revs Recaps This Week

Just wanted to give a quick update. As the title states. no Americans or Revs recaps this week. I have to write final papers and stuff since I procrastinated so long. This upcoming Wednesday should see the return of The Americans recaps, and then next Saturday for the Revs, assuming I don't go to the game. (I guess now would be a good time to say when I go to Revs games this summer I will either writing no recap, or a very short one).