Wednesday, May 25, 2016

I'm Just Getting Caught Up On The Captain America News From Today, And It's All Preposterous


To be honest, I really don't know which thing came first. I think the "Captain America should be gay" one did. #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend. I have no issues with the LGBTQ community. Do you as long as you don't annoy me, that's my motto for literally everyone on the planet. But I mean, come on. Captain America has been around since 1941. Steve Rogers was born in 1920. He is literally heterosexual in canon. A good-looking superhuman like that who has been around for 96 years would have at least dabbled with a dude in his near 10 decades on the planet. If it hasn't happened naturally yet, don't try and force it on him. Let the man live his life. Maybe he doesn't want a boyfriend? Hell, I don't think he wants a girlfriend either. Cares so much about his missions he can't be bothered with romantic endeavors. He has plenty of time, none for that. Just create a new gay superhero. I'll get you started. His alias is Jason Smith. His day job is in PR and marketing. Works in New York City, but lives in Hoboken because it costs less. Only has one car because his boyfriends (named David, half black guy whose mom is from Jamaica) job requires a lot of travel so having two wouldn't make much sense economically. As a child he went exploring with his best friend Paul at an old toxic waste facility (pretty sure those exist, don't quote me) and they were exposed to radiation that mutated them. Paul gained the ability to produce fire form his body (think flames coming froths fingertips and all that), but he turned evil after years of fighting by Jason's side. Jason got claws that grow out of his arms, superhuman strength and superhuman helming powers, and shit I just made Gay Wolverine. Trademarked though, so if you take it to press or screen I WILL sue you.

Onto the whole Nazi thing. Maybe not the route I would have taken, but to each his own I guess. Being a Hydra plant since 1941 is one hell of a long con. Captain America was created by Jewish guys as a symbol of hope during World War II, so turning him into a Nazi is a BOLD strategy by Marvel. People are saying that making him gay wouldn't ruin his character, but making him a Nazi does. Counterpoint: as previously stated, Cap's character isn't a gay one. Being a Hydra agent the whole time is plausible. He just made a heel turn. He'll drop the title to John Cena or Finn Balor in a few months, don't worry. Or he'll turn on Hydra/The Authority and be a face again. Nothing to worry about, it was all about plot development. You can un-be a Hydra agent, you can't un-be gay.

But what would Internet controversy be without Tweets:

If Donald Trump created this whole controversy to somehow rack up votes that would maybe be the greatest political ploy of all time. Don't even know how it would be possible but now my brain is in a pretzel.
Maybe take a walk, or acquire a hobby that doesn't involve gay/anti-semitic superheroes.
You mean to tell me Marvel, a for-profit entertainment company, is only concerned about money? I do not believe you, Renay, The Cabal. That's just a hot take you spouted off. We're trying to be serious here.
A good investment, NOT! Take a tip from Jason Smith/Gay Wolverine *PAUSE* and be fiscally responsible. Never know when that comic will be worth something and you need the cash to pay your bills.
This is a fair trade off to be honest.
Counterpoint: now Nazis have a comic book/movie superhero of their own. Would be pretty selfish to take that away from them. You don't wanna be that guy.
These are just the facts. Try and tell me he could be gay in his original era when gay people were not even a real thing since Macklemore was born 42 years later. Impossible. Like telling me I could play basketball before Yao Ming was drafted in 2002. Just wasn't an option.
Nothing to say other than any excuse to post Xavier Woods being awesome is a good excuse.

I wanted to make fun of all the people actually being upset over a fictional being not becoming gay based on the desires of people wont he internet despite the canonized facts of the character, and then that character becoming a Nazi. I mean, this stuff really doesn't matter. It's trivial. You shouldn't be getting so mad and passionate over something so stupid.

Yeah, go ahead and be mad over Captain America everyone.

PS-Even though there were legit gripes over media coverage/the NFL's authority and idiocracy/slandering multiple names and entities over a sham.


Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)