Saturday, May 12, 2018

Revs Byke!


The constant question with his team is, "Can they respond?" It's asked after losses, draws and opposing goals. Do they have the gall to bounce back after a negative? Well, they answered that question in a big way against Toronto tonight at Gillette.

Brad Friedel, after rolling with the same lineup[ for multiple weeks in a row, switched things up. Delamea finally got back on the field with Dielna taking his spot on the bench. Chris Tierney got the start at left back over Gabriel Somi. Scott Caldwell took the captains armband and paired with Luis Caicedo as Wilfried Zahibo, after his 2 goal performance last week, sat on the pine. And with Juan Agudelo out, Kelyn Rowe got the start on the wing opposite Penilla. 

Now, Toronto is absolutely battered right now. Injuries and the CCL have taken their toll on the team from the Six. So, the Revs should have taken care of business. And thats exactly what they did. 

Right off the bat, it was Cristian Penilla.
That speed is truly something else. He didn't really get a pass played through that he could run into, he just collected the ball and turned on the afterburners to create some space for the shot.

He then went 2 Fast 2 Furious on our asses.
The press puts TFC in a cocoon of horrors and Penilla finishes the mistake for a brace within 7 minutes.

Teal finished the Revs goal scoring off in the 2nd half.
Technically Delamea also scored, just into the wrong goal.
Can't hold that against him, just a tough bounce. It would suck if that gets held over his head after he finally manages to get back into the starting lineup, but I don't think Friedel will do that. As a former keeper he knows how those things go.

Giovinco made it close from the spot.

Tough sequence all around. Tierney with the ball was not looking behind him, obviously, and makes contact in the box. And then Turner dives the right way but the ball gets by him with that pace on it. Both TFC goals weren't really at the fault of the Revs explicitly. There was a lot of bad luck involved with the finish to the first and the penalty given on the second.

In the end it was too little, too late and the Revs took the win at the Fortress. We re-affirmed a few things in victory. First, the Revs are a lot of fun to watch. There were a plethora of chances in this game that the Revs did NOT finish. Case in point...
There a few more like that, and it was all game long.

Second, the Cult of Matt Turner is very much alive and it is THRIVING.



At this rate he needs to be an All-Star. It's not even a question, the kid has been immense this season. I honestly thought it would be a hot start that fizzled a bit, but he's been in top form all season now. If he's not an all-star (if he keeps this up) I will be irate on the web.

One thing we learned is that Sebastian Giovinco has a death wish apparently.
As the Smarf of this team, Zahibo is likely quick to pull out a rusty tire iron, so the fact he didn't immediately grab Gio by his ankle and swing him over his head like he's the Hulk is a sign he actually has some mercy in his heart.

Maybe the biggest thing was not giving up a goal before the first half ended. TFC bounced back and looked good after the Revs 2nd goal, so to hold firm and not concede and kill any momentum before halftime is a big step forward. 

It was a big win against a depleted team and a great showing for a lot of guys out there. 

Man of the Match


It was either gonna be Penilla or Turner, but the brace within the first 7 minutes and his activity give the Fast and Furious One the slight edge here. 


Columbus visits in a weeks time. Not sure if I'll be able to watch or do a write up since theres graduation stuff going on, but I'll try my best.

REVS 3-2 Toronto 

SORREY! 










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Saturday, May 5, 2018

The Lee Nguyen Saga Is Over


Back when the rumors started to swirl, I didn't really believe them, but I understood them. Lee Nguyen wanted what he deserved. He wanted what he was worth. I hoped the change in manager would help to smooth things over, but it didn't. I only officially became worried when he started his holdout and did not attend the majority of training camp in the winter. I figured he'd come back eventually, and he did. But he then got left off the rosters week after week with Brad Friedel saying he has to fight for his spot. Was he trying to tell us that Lee Nguyen wasn't beating out guys bench players? Because thats a load of crap. If he was good to go you put him in the roster and worry about on-the-field before at-the-negotiating-table. 

The entire time, while worried for certain, I was almost in disbelief that it could happen and so I talked myself into the reality that he would play for this team for years to come.

That reality came crashing down when the Revolution traded Lee Nguyen to Los Angeles Football Club last week.


First off, he looks marvelous in the gold and black. 

If you had to give a Revolution counterpart to each of Boston's major sports teams, I think a lot of people would say Taylor Twellman. But with the smallest history in terms of years and winning, I think Twellman belongs with the Bird, Orr, Rice and Grogan group of athletes. He might still be our biggest star in history, and he eclipses those who had come before him. For the current generation of guys, Lee Nguyen is the Rev's answer to Pierce, Ortiz and Bergeron (I have intentionally left Tom Brady out because I am NOT stupid). He was this era's biggest star. So before we look at the return, the aftermath and the goodbye, we're gonna look at some of his best moments.

His best goals with the Revs


That AMAZING chip against Montreal (if you say it was deflected I will cut you)


His stats over the years have been at least average after his first season with the Revs


That 18 goal, 5 assist season in 2014 that earned him runner-up in MVP voting while also carrying the team to the MLS Cup Finals, where I think a win would have given Nguyen the MVP. I am still reeling from that game. 

Outdoing his near-MVP 2014 with the 11 G, 15 A performance a season ago. It shows just how good he still was and what he's truly capable of. 


Getting called up to the USMNT after a 7 year gap and then actually playing

THAT tifo
Still gets me going in the loins all these years later.

His story

The return for Lee Nguyen is $950k in allocation money, meaning we will probably not see much of that. Given the fact Mike Burns didn't want to deal him within the Eastern Conference and the amount of time that passed since the initial rumors of Lee wanting out and the fact he publicly asked to leave meant you weren't going to get the best offer or what the offer should be. 

I hoped Lee Nguyen would finish his playing days in New England. Instead, we have to settle on him combing back and playing in the Fortress if the schedule allows so. The teams are set to play in the middle of September this season, so we'll see him again then. 

I've seen far too many fans saying this saga has tarnished his career, while other are just generally disrespectful of all Lee has done for the team the past 6 years. All I have to say to these people is that you are absolutely moronic and don't deserve anything other than this. 

On a personal level, Lee Nguyen meant a whole lot to me and fans with Asian heritage across the US Soccer spectrum. For the first time since Tedy Bruschi roamed that same turf, one of my teams had an Asian American not only in the squad but also as one of the featured members of the team. It was absolutely fucking awesome to watch someone I can better relate to do the things he did and accomplish what he did. Watching him represent the United States and wear the crest meant a lot to the Asian community who, like myself and like Lee, call themselves Americans. And so I am sad that his chapter with my team is over, but I'll always be a Lee Nguyen fan. That much is certain. 

So thank you Lee Nguyen. Thank you for your performance on the field. Thank you for your personality off the field. Thank you for being a leader. Thank you for repping the culture. 

Thank you Lee. 

#MVLEE Forever.












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Should Wilfried Zahibo Be Striker? My Column:::,,


Look, I gotta come clean here from the jump. I did not watch todays match. I've been sick and also a college student so the 1PM kickoff crept up on me and I didn't make it. Hand up. That ones on me. I did follow on twitter though, so the following will be musings of a game consumed entirely through twitter.

First, I must say that I actually do hate that I missed todays match. Paul Mariner is in the UK being honored as part of the Ipswich Town team to win the FA Cup 40 years ago. In his place at color commentator was Charlie Davies. I really wanted to hear him call a game, man. Again, my bad.

Kelyn Rowe got back into the 18 after a few weeks off due to a leg injury. Other than that, the lineup was the same. The continuity I think has been a key part in how the team has looked. Now, early on Twitter tells me the game is very even, and that seemed apparent until the very end of the 1st half when Montreal opened the scoring.


  🤔 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

He also did it again.

The goal I mean, not the offsides.

Just making sure you got that.



And then they did it again.

The team I mean. Not the same guy, but rather the team in general within the context of scoring goals.

Just checking.

And then Ignacio Piatti, absent from the first meeting between these teams, made it 4.
Because when it rains, it shoots anvils onto your skull like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

But these Revs are not ones to to just give up. Oh no sir. They are not doing that. They're gonna fight and claw until the list whistle blows. So Wilfried Zahibo went on a mission to show everyone watching just that.

Finds space and tucks it home. Beautiful.

Oh but Big Wilf wasn't done there.
That finish?! That kick?!?!

It wasn't a win, but they still showed fight. You'd obviously rather have a result to show for it but it's not a huge cause for concern at the moment. 

A few other notes:
-Shamnolic defending. Nothing more to say really. 

-The Swag Man left in the 34th minute with an injury and replace by Nemo (thats what I'm calling Nemeth now, pretty cool imo). Said the same thing with Rowe's injury, take all the time you need to be 100%. I hope its nothing major but be cautious, pleeeeease.

Man of the Match

The Brick Shit House himself, Wilfried Zahibo. Two goals is as good as it gets in this game for New England. This was also a very Smarf like outing. Poor to start and then wins you back over with that gritty attitude and coming up big at the end. 

Toronto at Gillette in one weeks time. *very lil pump voice* ESSSSKETIT


Revs 2-4 MTL

PS: There will be a Lee Nguyen blog very soon.





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Saturday, April 28, 2018

Revs Byke


A win is a win is a win is a win. At the end of the day thats all that matters. But the way the Revs got to that point in this one is about as Revs as you can think of. 

Brad Friedel  rolled out the same roster as last week, with Juan Agudelo starting along the right wing and Luis Caicedo in central midfield with Scott Caldwell on the bench. 

The nature of the two teams in question, Our Beloved Revs and Sporting Kansas City, meant the game would be very attacking-heavy and more open than we've seen in the past few games. With two aggressive squads, there would be a lot of space opening up, and taking advantage of the space would be key. 

As good as Diego has been this season in the #10 role, the key to this game was Penilla. Creative with blazing speed on the wing against a team that likes to push upfield meant he could get some great looks on a counter attack with teammates making runs through the box. He's the definition of instant offense. I call him Top Ramen cause he'll satisfy that hunger real quick. 

Penilla was also part of what is starting to become a worrisome aspect of the Revs game. The passing looked a little sloppy tonight. We gave up possession more than a few times by just passing it to SKC, and Penilla did it both in this game and in others within the attacking third of the field. I think away from home that kind of stuff will kill this side. You need to take car of the ball to have success. 

It was a relatively even game in terms of possession though. Each team held for long stretches a few times and the balls that New England would pass away, they would end up winning back more often than not. That Core 4 of Caicedo and Zahibo in front of Dielna and Anibaba is looking solid at this point, and then you obviously have a sure handed keeper in Matt Turner. Turner was forced into action like 8 seconds in and had to show his skill a few other times, but for the most part his teammates were making life pretty easy. Turner has apparently requested access to the Ojeleye Factory when he showed off some CombatMuscles though...


A real nice goal line clearance from Big Burly Boy Farrell and then Turner fighting for the ball. Gritty!

As the game wore on you could see the Revs dedication to conditioning start to pay off. KC was looking like they were falling behind the rapid pace of play at times int he second half as the Revs ran them, and ran them, and ran them some more. 

"But what about the score? You said they won! Wheres the goal?"

Great question! I was waiting to get to this. Teal Bunbury with perhaps a goal that is a microcosm for both himself and the Revs organization as a whole.


Diego plays him a pass, the flag goes up since he's clearly offside and he puts it home out of frustration apparently. Well, VAR giveth and VAR taketh away, and in that moment it was feeling more giving than Santa Claus. Replay showed that the ball was actually last contacted by Espinoza, making Teal onside and the goal a good one. How in the world is that the goal that did in KC? How is that a goal that was scored by the Revs and not against them? Are we still on the planet Earth? Does God exist? What is the meaning of life? All of these will remain eternal questions lost to the universe.  We should also fully expect VAR to screw us at least 3 times the rest of the season for this one. 

KC came into this matchup unbeaten since week 1, and it was the Revs to end their streak. Incredible. 

Other notes:

-Kelyn Rowe misses a third straight week with that leg injury, though he was practicing a bit this week and apparently smiled at Paul Mariner in Gillette Stadium, so cause for concern may not be warranted just yet. I'd say if he misses next week as well then we can start thinking about the panic button. But for now, we're fine. Everything's fine. We're fine.

-On two separate occasions, Claude Dielna the central defender was trying to show off his skills. It looked like a 12 year old spamming an XBOX controller. Step over, step over, feint, step over, sombrero attempt, it gets kicked out of bounds. The guy is too much. 


Man of the Match
Look when you're hot you're hot. Thats 4 goals in 5 games now for the Man Between Blue And Green. It's been a case of "Right Place, Right Time" for him. Whether he meant to do it or not, he put that ball in the back of net for the lone goal of the game. His work rate in the press can also not go unnoticed. He was making life difficult for SKC as they attempted to build up their offense. Good in ya Boonbury. 


I spent more time than I care to admit trying to think of a song for Teal and gave up and put this song which is good. 


Up in Montreal next week for a 1 pm kick. I hope I'm awake by then. Clue the music!

REVS 1-0 SKC



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Thursday, April 26, 2018

Debunking The “No Lamar Jackson” Narrative


Lamar Jackson is one of the more talented quartebacks college football has seen, and he is one of the more polarizing players in tonights draft. There’s been talk about whether he can translate his game over to the NFL, talk about a possible position change, talk about him shutting down that speculation, talk about who needs him, talk about where he’ll land. He’s a human highlight reel…


He’s electric!!!
I fall in the category of people who think he is not only a talented player, but that he is also a quarterback. I’ve seen a lot of chatter on the interwebs from fellow Patriots fans about why they don’t want Lamar Jackson in New England. The team is obviously interested in him, given his two visits and words like “infatuated” being thrown around in regard to New England brass’ opinions on the former Heisman winner from Louisville.
So let’s debunk the two most prominent.
Doesn’t Fit the System
“The System” has long been an excuse for failures of players for as long as football has been around. It’s true that teams and coaches have their preferred styles of play. Air It Out offenses, 4–3 or 3–4 defenses, Air Coryell, blitz-heavy, things of that nature, Max Kellerman. We’ve seen a handful of quarterbacks in the Patriots’, and more specifically Josh McDaniels’, system. The only ones to see extended time ont he field are Tom Brady, Matt Cassel, Jimmy Garoppolo and Jacoby Brissett. Brady is the Gold Standard when it comes to the Patriots’ System, obviously. He IS the System. He’s what the playbook and schemes are built upon, becuase you know what youre gonna get and know what he’s good at. You’re not gonna get 15-yard runs when the pocket breaks down, its gonna be quick slants and screen passes to beat the pressure. The two times Brady has missed games is when the others took over. With each of them you are able to see how the System is adaptable. Cassel is more in a Brady mold in context. He’s a stay-at-home pocket passer and won’t beat you with the long ball. He doesnt have Brady’s brain and wiring, so the System got tweaked for him. At its core it was still the same, but with modifications to play to the quarterbacks’ strengths. The same happened with Jimmy G. A great mind and good physically, with good thorwing ability and plus-movement. But without Brady’s experience you had to tweak the System to tailor to him. When Jacoby Brissett stepped in when Jimmy went down, we saw the most drastic alterations. McDaniel’s added designed QB runs and simplified the passing scheme for the rookie. Despite the fact the “System” is adaptable and the fact that you can change the system entirely when Brady retire, Pats fans do not want him.
There have been questions about Jackson’s accuracy and throwing ability. I dont have to post numbers and stuff here becuase 1) you ahve the same Google as me, and 2) he’s a good passer based on my eye test. Jackson has not run the 40, likely stemming form his desire to quell the idea he should siwtch to receiever. He’s only been working on throwing. He clearly wants to be taken seriously as a passer. On a scale where at one extreme you have Michael Vick and Cam Newton and Johnny Manziel (rocket arms that really make a living off their legs both running and scrambling, but also keeping defenses on their toes) and at the other end is Tom Brady and Drew Brees (complete pocket surgeon, not a big run guy), I think Lamar falls somewhere very close to the middle, similar to Brissett (who patriots fans adore because of a couple games and Tom Brady Instagram posts) you can design runs for him like we saw with Brissett and still run your regular style offense. Jackson gets develop under the GOAT and pick up things like Jimmy and Jacoby did. And if the unfortunate happens and Lamar needs to step in sooner than expected, you can just blow the dust off of the Brissett Playbook. It seems like a win-win.
He doesn’t fit the “Patriot Way”
I’m getting real goddamn sick of entitled Patriots fans bringing up the Patriot Way when it comes to guys like Lamar and Odell. Focus on Lamar for now. The Patriot way at its core is all about hard work and doing what you can to help the team reach its ultimate goal. Lamar Jackson is a competitor, at his core he wants to win. He will do what he can to help the team. Start, backup, do the scout team and mimic Russ Wilson and Phil Rivers and whoever the Jets draft. What was he knocked for in the past? His passing ability. What has he been focusing all his energy on ahead of the draft? His passing ability. He’s busting his ass to improve and staying out of the media. That’s what the Patriot way is, no? On Odell, he shows passion, and I don’t hate that. He can be a bit much at times, sure, but he’s a phenomenal talent, a competitor and I think if you give him a change of scenery and bring him into the “System” he will be focused on the ultimate goal. He adores Tom Brady. Ochocinco didn’t produce like we hoped, but it was a style and scheme problem, not an attitude problem. One of the most flamboyant wideouts in NFL history came here and virtually shut down his prior personality to commit himself to the team, and you don’t think Odell can also do that? Gronk remains a boisteorus perosnality and he’s been fine. Even if you think he’s self centered, imagine thinking he wouldn’t do everything he can to help Brady win his last ring, What it would do for his own personal legacy. He’d work his ass off for that.
I hope the patriots take Lamar Jackson, I just don’t think he’ll fall that far in the draft. But if you are a Patriot fan and don’t want Lamar Jackson and/or Odell Beckham Jr. on this team, you are a savage and an idiot.

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Saturday, April 21, 2018

Back To The Drawing Board (Get It?)


There's a reason US Soccer fans cite Columbus, Ohio as one of the preferred places for a national stadium should we ever go that route (we won't). The weather and the fans make it a tough place to play for any team. It was imperative that the Revs go into MAPFRE and get some kind of result though. And thats what they did. It wasn't pretty but they did what they needed to.

Friedel made one change to the lineup: Juan Agudelo started at forward with Scott Caldwell replacing him on the bench, and Luis Caicedo dropping back into midfield next to Zahibo. Most likely, he was looking to get some additional firepower against a good team in hopes of jumping out to an early lead and holding momentum.

The key for the Revs on defense was trying to contain Federico Higuain. He's one of the best playmakers in the league, and has been for a number of years, and giving him anything easy was asking for trouble. The defense did end up doing a pretty good job with him; he was having to really work to create chances. Now don't get me wrong, he still had very good stats...
... but nothing came easy, which is something to feel good about. We're not just rolling over for good players and letting them pat our bellies.

The Crew had a much easier time breaking the press than teams in the past few games, and right off the bat they had a nice looking chance that was snuffed out and turned into a 3 on 2 counter. That ended in Penilla getting the ball and passing it to a Crew defender in the 18 yard box. Definitely one you want back.

The Crew did end up drawing first blood, but on a Revolution goal.

Farrell rightly pissed after that bit of bad luck. I was really impressed with how Turner handled it though. Got right up and offered encouragement to the Big Burly Boy. A calm, cool, veteran mindset from the youngster.

Luckily the Revs got it right back.


Just a brilliant pass from Penilla. It almost looked like he was ready to cross and then when the space between defenders opened up he put the ball through the middle and onto Teal's foot. The Man Between Blue And Green gave it a heavy touch to the outside and then somehow struck it in just the right way that it skipped along the ground and into the net from a tough angle. It was one of those goals that makes you wonder why he can't finish the easy ones, but can put that home no problem. Very Giroud-esque if I must say.

The Crew took the lead back thanks to Gyasi Zardes.

Just a great individual effort from Zardes. The cut inside and low shot with pace to the far corner. I've never been a Zardes fan. I always thought he underperformed for the national team. But he's been very good under Greg Berhalter this season. Maybe all he needed was a change of scenery and a good coach to reach another level. Maybe he'll still be awful on the national stage. I'm not sure if I want to know the answer to that.

Columbus had the 2-1 lead, and then the Revs did the thing where they tied it up right after.

Alright cool lets see how many of these I can fit in...





Ok thats good for now. A downright filthy effort from Juan Agudelo. The Swag Man touches it over a defender, keeps it up again, lets it fall, and send the half volley over to Penilla, who one-times the volley into the twine. It was mostly sexual for me.

After that there were chances that neither side could finish off. Teal had a header get knocked aside, Diego made a great run and played it off to Penilla who put one right into Zack Steffen's chest. But the defensive efforts down the stretch cannot be understated. Penilla was robbed again by Jonathon Mensah, Jalil Alibaba made some nice blocks, Claude Dielna made a perfect slide tackle to break up a run by Zardes
Multiple times you had guys putting themselves between the ball and the net, and it paid off in the form of a point each. A 2-2 draw, a result more importantly, in a tough road game. We saw resolve and a fighting spirit from this team. Hard fought and coming away from it healthy, least we can ask for.

Other notes:
-Kelyn Rowe missed tonight's match with that lingering injury that kept him out last week. He should be back in the 18 once he's 100%, and before that I say don't risk him. I'd rather wait a few weeks for him to be right than try and force him into it at anything less.

-MLS teams this week are wearing special jerseys as part of an initiative with Parley for the Oceans for Earth Day. The jerseys are made with yarn from ocean plastic or something, I'll be honest with you I don't really get the technology behind it but I do now they look FIRE.

White for the home teams and a cool carbon for the away. I think the Revs especially wore the carbon well, as did Orlando City (Dom Dwyer can make anything look cool though). It probably wont happen, but this would be a great look as a third jersey should those ever come back. 

You can check out all the Parley jerseys HERE.

-Swaggy almost had a worldy 


-Penilla's performance brings him to 2 goals and 4 assists in 7 games. The dude will continue to feast on counter attacks. Having to try and stop him in space must be so scary for opposing defenders. 

-Columbus Capital J Journos can get these hands 

Bring it nerds.


Man of the Match


Jalil Anibaba was shutdown tonight. Coulda done better on the Zardes goal but he was immense other than that. He was going up and dueling with Zardes in the air and had some huge blocks.

The way he celebrates after those plays is electric. Passion pouring out of him. It's an edge that some fans noted they also saw in former Revs standout defender AJ Soares. There's a reason why Toni Delamea, last seasons Team MVP, is stuck to the bench. Anibaba REFUSES to give that spot up. He's pulled a Tom Brady on Drew Bledsoe. He's Wally Pipp'd Toni. I did not see this happening when we signed Jalil for depth. You need to ride the hot hand and the guy is on a heater right now. Absolute class performance from him tonight.

Next week its back to the Fortress to take on Sporting Kansas City. Let's start a new winning streak in the friendly confines.

Revs 2-2 Crew

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Friday, April 20, 2018

In Honor Of Avicii: Throwback to the Avicii Tongue Girl


If you haven't heard, Avicii was announced dead today at the age of 28. Incredibly sad stuff. The Swedish maestro stopped doing live shows in 2016 citing health concerns, and he had been diagnosed with acute pancreatitis as a result of excessive alcohol usage. But he was still putting out bangers. He was a revolutionary in a sense; he truly brought EDM to the forefront of the mainstream. Daft Punk and Swedish House Mafia obviously had success before Avicii, but they were still very much niche. Of al the hits he's had, and there have been a lot, one clearly stands out above the rest. It's what made Avicii. 

When Levels came out in 2011 I was ready to head into Sophomore year of high school. Levels was a staple of the locker room, everyones playlist, the radio, etc. It was a song you'd hear every so often and remember just how good it is. Like a week ago it came on randomly on Spotify and it still held up as an awesome song, as it has every time before and will continue to do in the future. It's infectious. But perhaps most important, it gave birth to one of my most memorable internet videos of all time. 



Jody the Avicii Tongue Girl. 

I was scrolling through BarstoolSports.com as I have been one to do for some time now. I came across a blog from KFC, and it contained this video. Two and a half minutes of a girl in a college dorm room making her tongue dance to Levels. Do you remember the first time you fell in love? I remember when I was younger I thought I knew that feeling watching Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera on MTV and award shows. It wasn't until this video came across my retinas that I knew what I felt so many years prior was not love. Those were mere schoolyard crushes. But now? Now I was 15 and knew what love was for the first time. This was a goddamn WOMAN. A QUEEN. I mean, just look at it. Look at it! Look at how she makes her tongue move, the devilish grins. I'm getting red-faced just thinking about it, and not in the "Let me tell you why this red facepaint I'm wearing to a Cleveland Indians game is actually not racist and why Chief Wahoo is not problematic" kinda way. 

I sit here 7 years later, a 22 year old man child, and watch that video and know that I am not yet completely devoid of all feeling and emotion. I'm like 97% there, but that 3% will be hard to shave away. It was a landmark moment in my life. 

Jody was posted as a Smokeshow on Barstool not too long after that video, but I think I actually like her in the video more than the carefully selected group of photos to make her look as hot as possible. It not only shows off her looks but her personality as well. In those 2 minutes and 30 seconds she is the most fun-loving and carefree person in the whole world. 

And its all because of Avicii. If he doesn't make Levels, Jody doesn't wag her tongue to the beat. I never see the video because its never made. Who knows where I would be without that 6 year old video of Jody making tongue O's to Levels. Maybe on track for a high paying career. Maybe on my way to being a corrupt political figure. You know where I wouldn't be if that video never existed? Sitting in my room writing a blog about a 6 year old video thats 2.5 minutes of a cute girl making her tongue dance to a hot ass EDM track while contemplating if a relationship with someone I have never and will never meet* based entirely off of said video is the pinnacle of my love life in an emotional sense. So checkmate haters. Cause Levels DID happen, and that video WAS made, and now I AM sitting in my room doing just that instead of being a productive member of society. 

In all seriousness, Jody the Avicii Tongue Girl might be the single sexiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. 



*I found out today that Jody passed away in 2015. I am heartbroken to say the least. RIP in Peace. Been a ROUGH one folks,,,,
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