PART 1 HERE
PART 2 HERE
PART 3 HERE
The final region of the first round is upon us...
(1) Steve Austin v. (16) Lex Luger
I truly mean no disrespect to Lex Luger here--he was a pretty good heel that had some main event programs. But he has to go up against the Texas Rattlesnake in Round 1, so he's up outta here. AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE! CAUSE STONE COLD SAID SO!!!
WINNER: STEVE AUSTIN
(8) Owen Hart v. (9) Mick Foley
This is honestly one of the sadder matches, as both men are synonymous with pain and tragedy. Owen Hart was the youngest son of the legendary trainer Stu Hart and the youngest brother of Bret "The Hitman" Hart. He's widely thought of by his peers as being one of the best in-ring performers ever. He had very good singles success and won a number of titles, including winning the 1994 King of the Ring Tournament. He both teamed and feuded with Bret, the latter of which won Feud of the Year from Pro Wrestling Illustrated. The tragedy comes when, in 1999 on a live PPV, Owen's entrance equipment that was supposed to lower him from the rafters to the ring malfunctioned and dropped him, resulting in his death. It's one of the saddest and most harrowing moments in WWE, really all of wrestling, history. Mick Foley, on the other hand, is downright insane. The amount of pain, the pure torture, he put himself through is nothing short of psychotic. Whether he was in character as Cactus Jack, Mankind or Dude Love, or just plain old Mick Foley, he was probably going through a table, being lit on fire, falling on thumbtacks or barbed wire, really anything that could make him bleed or potentially die. His signature moments, winning the WWF Championship and being thrown off Hell in a Cell by The Undertaker, came while portraying Mankind:
Both of those moments are also notable for other reasons. When he won the title, it was on a pre-taped episode of RAW, so when WCW (the rival company at the time) went live on that Monday they decided to spoil the result for their viewers, thinking it would keep eyes on their live program. Well not backfired and viewers flocked to WWF's broadcast to watch this big, regular dude win the title. And the Cell toss is accompanied by maybe the best call in all of sports or entertainment, that being Jim Ross yelling "THEY'VE KILLED HIM! WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS, HE IS BROKEN IN HALF!!" He would team with The Rock as well to form The Rock N' Sock Connection, named in part for Mr. Socko, Foley's dirty gym sock he'd wear when applying the mandible claw finisher. As good as Owen was, Mick Foley was just so important in the Attitude Era.
WINNER: MICK FOLEY
(5) Mr. Perfect v. (12) Kevin Nash
Mr. Perfect is one of the best Intercontinental champions of all-time and had incredible vignettes to hype him up:
An all-time gimmick. Kevin Nash, meanwhile, started out as "Big Daddy Cool" Diesel before jumping to WCW and being a major player there as part of the NWO. He's important in the ring for sure, but he is maybe more important out of the ring as part of The Kliq and the MSG Incident. He played a good big man heel, whereas Mr. Perfect was more of the cocky heel (fitting given the fact he was literally named Mr. Perfect). This is a tough one to call, but I'm going with the man with glass quads given his importance in shaping the wrestling industry in the 90's and 2000's. I also had his Bashin' Brawler that talked and I never lost to that thing.
WINNER: KEVIN NASH
(4) Daniel Bryan v. (13) Jim Duggan
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan is not the most complex character to dissect. He loves America, USA chants, his 2x4 and just yelling "HOOOOOOO!!!!!!" while giving a thumbs up. He was the first ever winner of the Royal Rumble match in 1988. He had a fine career, but runs into one of the most important figures in modern wrestling: Daniel Bryan. Few people just "get" wrestling like D-Bry does. One of the premier striker and submissions specialists in the business, Daniel Bryan has been part of more high profile matches and segments than some of these legends combined. Whether in Japan, Ring of Honor or WWE, Bryan has always been a draw despite his smaller stature and look. Remember the "YES! YES! YES!" chants? That was him. Heel or face, tag team or solo, Daniel Bryan is pure wrestling porn.
WINNER: DANIEL BRYAN
(6) CM Punk v. (11) Booker T
DOOZY of a matchup. Booker T is sneaky one of the most accomplished wrestlers since the early-90's, and he is absolutely one of the greatest black wrestlers ever. As a member of the page team "Harlem Heat" he won titles and called Hulk Hogan the n-word, a legendary moment in its own right. His run as King Booker, or as he would say it in a posh accent, "Keeeng Bookahhh", is one of the best heel runs of the post-Attitude era. He could get intense, had good comedy chops, could go all day in the ring, oozed charisma, the man could really do it all. He also became a commentator known for his weird but fun sayings. He was involved in a highly publicized feud with Triple H for the World Heavyweight Championship in which racism played a major yet underlying factor, with Triple H making veiled racist remarks about "people like" Booker (it's honestly pretty gross and I haven't even scratched the surface, and as much of a good person Triple H is now, this was for sure a very bad mark for him); despite his skyrocketing popularity as the "underdog", he was buried by Triple H at WrestleMania 19 in the eyes of most fans. Seriously, go look at his Wikipedia and read up, he's one of the best people in wrestling and wildly accomplished in an industry not exactly known for being progressive, especially in his prime.
CAN YOU DIG IT? SUCKAAAAAA!!!!! Now, he has the luck of having to face CM Punk in this matchup. CM Punk is what Daniel Bryan was before Daniel Bryan was in WWE, and then you had to mix that with some Stone Cold Steve Austin. CM Punk is someone who does not care what you think, even if you're vince McMahon. He was talented in the ring and was one of the best in terms of ring psychology, but his promos work is really where he made his bread. He had so much charisma and delivered some off the best speeches I have ever heard. There's the Pipe Bomb, obviously, which is his most famous:
The feud with Vinny Mac that led to him walking out of WWE as the champion in his hometown of Chicago:
I could go down a multi-hour rabbit hole of CM Punk content no problem. His "Box with God" promo with The Rock, his feuds with Undertaker and Jeff Hardy, him doing commentary, his return with "Cult of Personality" as his theme music (which was PERFECT, by the way). In fact, I may rush the rest of the region just so I can have more time to watch CM Punk videos.
He's just so good...
WINNER: CM PUNK
(3) Shawn Michaels v. (14) Bob Backlund
Bob Backlund is synonymous with longevity, having a career that spanned over 30 years. Over two separate reigns as WWE Champion in the 70's and 80's he accumulated the third longest time as champion behind only Bruno Sammartino and Hulk Hogan, with the first reign lasting six years. He could arguably be higher than a 14-seed. AS is the case with most of these math cups, a good option just runs into a buzzsaw, and thats what we have with 'The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels. One of the most popular and flamboyant superstars in wrestlings storied history, Michaels epitomizes the big match feeling, earning the nickname "Mr. Wrestlemania". He lost his smile, he was part of DX, he had historic feuds with The Undertaker and Ric Flair at the end of their careers, he made people want to super kick each other in the face, he truly did it all.
WINNER: SHAWN MICHAELS
(7) Randy Orton v. (10) Lita
The last of our weird matchups. Lita was the pre-eminent highflier in the women's division, captivating audiences with her patented moonsault. She managed The Hardy boyz when she dated Matt Hardy in the 90's, before cheating on him and leaving him for Edge, sparking one of the realest feuds in WWE history. After that, she was a heel until she retired, but fans have decided not to let that define her career and she's gotten great receptions anytime she comes back to WWE. Randy Orton was once WWE's golden child, a 3rd-generation wrestler with the look, the skill, the personality and the pedigree to be the top guy for a long time. He was part of Evolution, went on to target the stars of yesterday as The Legend Killer, teamed with the "Rated R Superstar" Edge as Rated-RKO, led his own stable akin to Evolution called The Legacy, with Ted DiBiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes (sons of Ted DiBiase and Dusty Rhodes respectively) as his proteges, and has been the Apex Predator for years now. The RKO is one of the most well-known moves in wrestling history at this point and has gained mainstream notoriety. Randy is one of the sickest bastards to grace a WWE screen.
WINNER: RANDY ORTON
(2) Andre The Giant v. (15) Honky Tonk Man
Last but not least, Andre The Giant battles The Honky Tonk Man. Andre was literally and figuratively the biggest star in the world for a time. A literal mountain of a man, in his younger days he was actually quite agile. Years on the road in a world not built for a man pushing 7'4" and 500 lbs hampered his abilities by the time WWE really took off but he was still a hugely integral piece to the puzzle. He won titles but he didn't need them. He was the biggest draw in the world when he was alive. I highly recommend checking out HBO's documentary about him, it's one of the best things I have ever watched. He was also in The Princess Bride, which rules.
The Honky Tonk Man had a great career and is regarded as a good Intercontinental Champion, but we're talking Andre The Giant here...
WINNER: ANDRE THE GIANT
First Round is DONE. Back with Round 2 soon...
No comments:
Post a Comment