Saturday, April 30, 2016

Would You Believe Me If I Told You The Revs Drew 2-2 With Orlando?








You have to be kidding me. Heartbreaker. Just... heartbreaker. Thought we finally had a win after all these god damn draws and then the expected happens and we draw. It's truly remarkable. We're going to set the league record for most draws in a season. Chicago set the record in 2014 with 18 ties. We have 7 through 10, and with 24 games left, at clip of 7 ties per every 10 games, we're on pace to have around 16-17 ties in the remaining schedule. Think about that. 24 ties! 24! Jesus Christ. Let's get on with it.

-In case you forgot what happened last time these teams played just two weeks ago

-Roster notes: Charlie and Teal both still out, which means Femi got the start up top. Caldwell back in the XI, Tierney still out so Donnie got his second straight start. Hoping Chris' injury isn't worse than we thought it was.

-Kaka was out for Orlando, meaning we may never see him play at Gillette. Even if he's picked for Brazil's Copa America squad I get the feeling he'll be sitting out turf games (assuming they don't lay the grass over the turf for the tournament)

-JoGo had a nice pullback move real early on that got some nice applause. Not too often you see a center back pull off slick skills

-DIEGOOOOAAAAALLLLL


-Nocerino's night for Orlando summed up:


-During one breakout early on, Diego and Lee looked like they were out to start a great counter, but it got snuffed out. Diego just couldn't quite thread the pass through a defender to Lee to get something going. He needs to start making that pass and we'll see some great counters.

-Revs flurry somehow doesn't go in:


-Effing Molino ties it up at 1's:


-Donnie Smith was good for most of the game, but two things he needs to work on: crossing when he's down the flank (he was actually very good whipping it on from set pieces, not quite Tierney but good enough to pose a threat as opposed to just having Lee), and not getting sucked so far outside on the flank when defending. ON that goal he got pulled out wide and that made JoGo widen out to cover some of that ground, allowing more space in the middle and eventually leaving no one on Molino at the end.

-Lee did some good work at the end of the half showing off some skill and control. And he got more of the sides of his head bleached. Good looks all around.

-End of the first half had me going "Where has THIS team been all along?" Aside from Molino's goal, that was an awesome half of soccer form New England. That's the team we need week in and week out if we want to get back to the postseason and make a run.

-Quick note: The guy who brings the giant yellow and red cards to games was back tonight. Been missing him. If you're ever at the game and there's a card on an opposing player look across from the fort on the team sideline, right near the corner where the opposing fans sit and you'll see him. He's awesome.

-Femi started to wear out a little in the second half. He was great in the first. Good movement off the ball, good speed to get in behind, could work on his strength but overall real solid, especially for a rookie. His stamina will get there considering it was his first start after a bunch of sub appearances. I'm really excited for this kid's future.

-He eventually came off for Juan

-HHHHHWWWWAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!


Juanny Futbol doing the damn thing. Nice ball in from Kelyn to.

-Unfortunately,  Watson was hurt on the play and was subbed off for London Woodberry, who struggled.

-Lee also picked up a slight knock, and Daigo replaced him. You could really see a shift at this point. Without Lee, Orlando seemed to up the attacking intensity and took more control without the threat of our most creative and probably best player on the field.

-With all subs used up, Donnie picked up a slight injury as well. Unreal. He moved up top so he wouldn't be a defensive liability on the flank, moving Kelyn to LB and Juan to LW.

-Didn't really matter because Rivas and his new Odell Beckham hair scored the equalizer:


Ahhhh there are the Revs we know! London gets caught ball-watching *pause* and allows Rivas enough space to get by him and slot it home. The defenders on this team HAVE to get better with their awareness. It's getting ridiculous at this point that we can expect at least one defensive lapse per game.

-There was a flurry at the start of stoppage time that we just couldn't put home, and then at the death, Juan...


So god damn close! Sublime cross in from JoGo though. Just cant seem to get over the hump, man. It's torturous.

-Overall, a good game for neutral viewers, while Revs and Lions fans were having heart attacks. Very physical too, showcased by a lot of players falling to the turf at the final whistle. Pure exhaustion.

Man of the Match
While Diego had a goal, and Juan had a goal and a real good chance at the end, one didn't do enough (Diego) and one was;t on the field long enough (Juan) to get it this game. So I'm going with...
Lee had 2 assists on the night and created a lot of good chances. He showed off his skill and control, setting the tempo for the Revs attack. Like I said earlier, once he came off Orlando played a lot better, as if they weren't afraid of anyone else on the field wearing blue. That's having an impact on a game. If everyone played as good as Nguyen, we'd have a lot more wins, that's for sure. 

Next Sunday, May 8, we're at the StubHub Center to take on the LA Galaxy. 330 PM eastern start on ESPN, so as always, let's hope we put on a  good show for the national audience, but prepare for the worst. I have a feeling this game won't end in a tie, either a narrow win or a crushing loss to the tune of like 3-0. Until then, keep it hyphy. 

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The Americans "Travel Agents" Recap

Gonna make this short. I just watched the episode since it's almost finals week. Don't have any pictures or Vines for this one. Promise a major comeback after this minor setback y'all. Without further ado...

-Rezidentura has their extraction plan for Martha. Low flying plane to Florida, boat to Cuba, plane to Prague, finally Russia. Congrats Martha, you're going to the Soviet Union.

-Some unreal wife faces from Elizabeth, first at the beginning, but they continued throughout the episode. Keri Russell is awesome with her facial expressions telling the whole story.

-Stan and Neil deGrasse Tyson get some info back on Clark Westerfield. Turns out Martha's boyfriend has a fake identity, confirming in their minds that Martha is KGB who made that all up as cover. Except for the fact they talked with the super at the apartment complex who has seen "Clark". But never mind that.

-Gabriel tells the two what happened and before the search starts they agree that if it comes down to it, Martha is getting capped.

-Martha has a great scene on the street where she thinks everyone near her is watching her, for either side really. She's so paranoid at this point. Needs to lay off the K2 or else she'll end up jumping through a window like Robert Nkemdiche. 

-FBI in the war room finds out she's calling her parents and taps into the feed. You can see on their faces it's a super messed up situation. They have to do this but dont want to listen to Martha cry-talk with her parents in what almost sounds like a goodbye. They track her to a park and move out.

-Ok maybe it really is good Martha wasn't on the Spice, cause she easily would have jumped off the bridge in the park. She was already probably seriously contemplating it, but that K Swizzle would have put it over the edge and then some.

-When Martha calls the ops center, Phillip just immediately cuts off the operator lady. Hit her with the Crying Jordan ASAP. Phillip has no time for you and your weird feelings about the job lady.

-We see Oleg and Not Nina at the Rezidentura, maybe a little spark there?

-Elizabeth in her "clark's Sister" disguise gets to the park first and confronts Martha. Martha continues to be annoying to no end and pulls out an all-time line: "Are you sleeping with my husband?!" Bitch if only you knew. If only YOU KNEW! Everything "Clark" has told you to this point has been a lie. You're not his actual wife idiot! 

-Martha threatens to yell. It looked like Elizabeth might have killed Martha. Her hand was in her pocket and looked like she had a gun there. Then I thought maybe she stabbed her. It was just a punch and part of me was thinking maybe a pair of brass knuckles was involved because good god what  body shot. Elizabeth or god damn Kimbo Slice?

-Paige goes over to the Bemoans where Matthew and Henry are just slugging some brews, guys being dudes. Then she walks for one. The 80's, What A Time To Be Alive indeed.

-Gaad says he's pretty much already dead when it comes to his job. A bug in his office, that IT guy whose name I cant remember right now, now Martha. So he has no problem saying whatever he wants to higher ups, in his mind he's already cooked once this situation is over. 

-Even with a massive bruise and in pain, Martha pulls off the sassy pose and demands to know Phil's Russian name. Kinda wish Elizabeth just killed her tbh.

-The FBI finally figures it out when Gaad gets the wedding certificate. Martha married a KGB officer. Stan is in disbelief, coming up with different scenarios and reasons as to why Martha was KGB the whole time and not seduced and turned under everyones nose.

-Phil drops the Russia bomb on Martha and it was AWESOME. Then she asks how long until he joins her, maybe thinking 3 months when the mission is over eh? NOPE.

He ain't goin bihhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

-And then she drops the most Martha line ever: "I'll be alone, just the way it was before I met you." Screw you Martha, trying to make Phil feel bad and abandon his missions and family for you. Manipulatin' Ass Bitch. MAB, Martha's new nickname.

-Next week's episode is titled "The Magic of David Copperfield V: The Statue of Liberty Disappears". Have to imagine they use this big moment when the country is distracted to get Martha out with little attention. Here's the preview:

Hit me up with other theories, questions, comments, let me know if you think I missed anything here, the whole 9 on Twitter @TheSituAsian508. Имейте хороший товарищей, Он горит.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Revs Draw Again, 1-1 With Portland, And A Word On Timbers Army

I'm going to make my game analysis as short as possible because there's something else I want to get to.

-Lineup Notes: Teal apparently injured, Tierney obviously injured and out, but Charlie back in the XI with Juan on the bench. Dig gets the start over Scotty next to Koffie. Donnie Smith is apparently still alive, otherwise someone stole his identity and is playing left back.

-Well it was nice to see Charlie get the start. After a few sub appearances, he was looking to go as close to a full 90 as possible. But the Soccer Gods are cruel, as he pulled up with an apparent hamstring injury again:


Gutted. Absolutely gutted for him. Worked his ass off to get back on the field, went through the off the field stuff with his twin boys born 3 months prematurely, was itching to get an increase in minutes, and to be cruising early only to have something go is cruel twist of fate. Hoping it isn't too bad but I'm not holding my breath.

-Rowe and Watson each had chances in the first but nothing was happening. Same for Portland. Just a lot of midfield play, and sloppy at that.

-Jack Barmby, on loan from EPL leaders Leicester City, scored his first MLS goal for Portland to open the scoring in the 2nd:
Just one of those weird goals that takes a path you wouldn't expect. Not gonna fault Bobby for that one.

-Revs equalize late, thought it was Femi but they're calling it an own goal on Portland, so I'll continue to say it was Femi. Love that kid.

-Also, his shoes:


-Really not much else happened. Revs dominated possession, Portland looked dangerous countering, neither team gets full points. Seems fitting, especially given the Revs season.

Man of the Match
I'm giving it to Donnie "Wild Thornberry" Smith.
For someone who hasn't appeared in an MLS match since March of 2014, I was impressed by him. He filled in for Chris Tierney admirably, putting in good crosses, showing off an impressive motor, not making any big defensive errors. He was real solid. It's good to know we have a serviceable backup at left back now and won't be forced into playing Watson there if Tierney is ever out again. 

Next game is at home this Saturday, April 30th, at 730 PM, hosting Orlando. Hope for a win, prepare for a draw. 

Before we close today's recap, the main thing I wanted to touch on. 

Before the game the Timbers supporters group Timber's Army tweeted this.
Fair enough. Gillette Stadium policy for banners from away groups is nothing bigger than 6x4 (though I've also heard 6x4). There are no actual measurements on the stadium website, but this is from people I've spoken with and have seen bring this up on Reddit. Now apparently Gillette staff said they couldn't bring it in because of the message, and that I do think is a little soft. I have no problem with the message, its playful banter. But it wouldnt have been allowed inside anyway, since it's taller than the limits. Probably shitty rules to, but we didn't make them, the stadium staff did. So that's why I have an issue with this.








A lot of whining coming form the people accusing us of whining. And then they started attacking our soccer culture. Getting on Brad Feldman's play-by-play because he said fast break during one of Portland's counter attacks. Newsflash, it may be easier for some new viewers to grasp that concept when put into terms of, I don't know, basketball, since the Celtics are bigger and in the playoffs. Harping about our chants and how they have more than one. Hey guys, we have more than one as well, you're not so special. They even got on Jessie Cofield for not sounding "professional enough"? What planet am I on? You want fucking Doris Burke patrolling the sidelines of Gillette for a local broadcast you're streaming from your fucking locally owned coffee house? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING LOSERS.

Oh but they consider themselves the best fans in MLS. And I'd agree, I love seeing the atmosphere at Providence Park; it's what I hope Revs games in a SSS in Boston will someday look like. It's great for the league. But be more self-righteous, holier-than-thou, "We're the gold standard", you can't. You'd think they were fucking royalty and we were poor pieces of garbage waiting in bread lines during the fucking French Revolution. Hey Timbers Army, and Timbers fans in general, you may be great supporters but you're attitude stinks. STINKS. Also, you guys put a gold star next to your names on Twitter, v cute imo.

I really wasn't up for this game initially. I dreaded the outcome, and was running on fumes after a long night studying. But seeing that shit? I got fired up. I got irrationally angry over people being irrationally angry. I wanted the Revs to send those hipster bearded fucks to an early grave.

Although a win would have been best, that equalizer taking points, and therefore the souls, from Timbers fans is a good consolation. Use your fucking tifo to wipe your tears and head back to the Rose City you cheecharoo's.

And then we had people chirping about attendance. I'll just leave this Reddit exchange since I'm so tired of talking about attendance.



Fans in new England are at their best when its us vs. the world, the elites, the odds. The Timbers are the St. Louis Cardinals of MLS. Fans call themselves the best, turn their noses at others and can do no wrong. They cheer their teams the right way, and if something doesn't go their way then they'll make sure everyone knows about it and knows that the other team isn't doing things "the right way". They'll take their Twitter Fingers and go to work over social media. And their team won the title last year. But what else? Right now, the Revs are pre-2004 Red Sox. Our one is going to taste so much sweeter than any of yours. You won't know the heartbreak like we do. So keep crying over your precious little tifo all the way back to your hipster town. 

Oh and this guy...

A. I think a lot of people talked about the Revs on social media in the finals in 2014, just a guess though.

2. Sweet shades and beard dude. I didn't realize white frames were back in. Maybe you can "Soulja Boy" on them to, really bring back the nostalgia. 
And D. Awesome DeflateGate joke, guy. Very topical. You know what else is topical? The closest NFL team to your location is your city's biggest rival. You are irrelevant in the football landscape while Lombardi's and rings and wins pour out of every orifice on my body. St. Louis will get another NFL team and have them move to LA as well before Portland even sniffs the taint of an NFL team. Really good setup though. Have to give credit where credit is due. The "Wait for it" really had me on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would come next and then KAPOW! DeflateGate son! 

Meet me in Temecula. 


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Saturday, April 23, 2016

Revs Lose 3-0 in DC, I Don't Know What To Say Anymore


Really, I just don't know what else to say at this point. How else can I put it that hasn't already been said since opening day? This team just can't seem to get over the hump. One win this season is the outlier. Other than that, it's draws or crushing losses. It's maddening. Let's get into it, I guess...

-Lineup notes: Goncalves back, meaning Watson back to the right. Juan still not ready to even be a sub. Teal up top and Charlie still on the bench. He hasn't started a game since March 12. Over a month.

-Worra in net for DC. He's been playing for them quite a bit lately. He started in New England back on March 12 and posted a shutout on 3 shots. Looking at his stats the trend seemed to be putting shots on target and pressuring him would cause him to crack. 6 games, 6 goals allowed, only two shutouts. Obviously ended up not being the case as he stood up to a few (and I mean few) good chances. 

-Right away the Revs looked pretty good. Not great, but good. Nice sequence involving Rowe and ending with Teal hitting the crossbar:


-Revs wasted a chance on a Tierney free kick. Rowe had space and ended up heading to Watson who absolutely shanked it out of bounds.

-There was so much space in the midfield that Koffie could have read a novel before feeling any pressure.

-The wheels really started falling off when Tierney went down with a non-contact injury. He seemed pretty down when they zoomed in on him, which made me fear the worse. The general mood near him was real negative. Luckily he walked off on his own power and didn't have a very noticeable limp, so it may not be as bad as we initially thought. But he was subbed out for London Woodberry, moving Watson to the left. One of the reasons we brought in Watson was because of that versatility:


-And then this...


It was converted. JoGo needs to try and do better there so Watson isn't forced into trying to make that tackle from behind. Marcelo did a good job selling that to make it even more obvious.

-And not much else happened in the first half. Good initial response from New England after the PK but it sort of just faded after bit. Neither team seemed to really be in it full bore.

-That continued into the second half. The most interesting parts of the game for the most part in the second were the Revs changes and formations. First, Lee went tot he left, Kelyn to the middle and Diego to the right to try and light a spark. Then Scotty went off, Kelyn went next to Koffie, Lee went back to the middle, Diego back to the left, and Teal went to the right so Charlie could go up top. Later, Daigo went on for Teal, pushing Kelyn back up to the wing. Seeing Kelyn's versatility carry over from preseason is good to see just in case.

-Going to cut to the chase. Acosta had a nice goal, nothing to do but tip your cap. Don't blame Bobby as the Revs defense got caught, again, and didn't pressure him enough.


-And then Saborio seemed to be called offside, and after about a minute ref reversed the all and it was the third goal. In need of our weekly ref debate, which seem sot always involve the Revs, here we are...


Offside or no? He was off initially, but the argument is Farrell paying the ball deliberately which makes it OK. I;m just so beat down at this point I'm not going to argue. You win MLS.

-Overall, sloppy game. They dint look to be themselves, save for a few flashes like a nice 1-2 with Diego and Lee. But they were just that. Flashes. They need to become the usual instead of instances. Just bad. They were bad. Uninspired play for the most part. What else can I say?

-Sidenote-DC fans chanting "Fuck you ref!" after the eventual 3rd goal was initially disallowed when up 2-0. C'mon guys, give it a rest. You're winning. It's not like that call would have decided the championship. Simmer down.

Man of the Match
I wasn't going to give it to anyone. But I'm going Lee Nguyen...
Yeah, maybe not the best instance for the song, but it's Lee's so whatever.

Involved with most of the flashes the guys showed, and he did this which is cool...

So congrats, I guess.

Back at home Wednesday the 27th at 730 against...Portland. Oh god.
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Friday, April 22, 2016

The Americans "The Rat" Recap

It's all starting to hit the fan now. Martha is cooked. I'll get more into it in the timeline summary, so let's get into it right away.

-Start right off with Elizabeth just playing with Phillip's nips. 


Let your freak flag fly girl. In case you forgot they had sex last episode, they had sex last episode. Congrats on the sex you two.

-Stan and Neil deGrasse Tyson officially suspect Martha of being "bad". The ting is that they suspect her of being KGB, rather than just being worked by the KGB. They bring up the fact that she stays secret about her personal life, is involved with a married man (the same way Elizabeth has been to get information) and the fact the last guy she was romantically involved with was Agent Amador, who got murked back in season one. Being in their position, all signs would absolutely point to the KGB.

-The William Moment of the Week:


-Phillip asks him what the newest test bacteria is, and I'm not trying to spell it, but William say its easily weaponized and nasty stuff. Phillip says, "Sounds good." To which William responds...
#PrayForWilliam

-Phillip makes the decision to pull Martha off the street and takes her to a safe house. Gabriel puts on the nice act in front of her but goes off on Phillip, who gives it right back. Things are so heated between him and Gabriel you can really see the disdain Phillip has for Gabriel specifically, but for what the Center is putting him and Martha through. I need to see him go rogue before this season ends.

-Clark's sister arrives, otherwise known as Elizabeth. 


Martha's mad stupid. You're entire relationship with Clark is a sham, why would his "sister" be any different? Now I get why Phillip chose her. Zero working brain cells.

-Phillip tells Elizabeth Martha has already seen her, obvious marital tension bubbling up as a result of Phillip keeping it secret. Apparently great sex can't save marriages, so we should all quit while we can.

That face screams "You're sleeping on the couch again".

-If Henry doesn't stop asking about goddamn Epcot I'm going to start openly rooting for his demise.



-Even with her life falling apart, Martha finds time to be the jealous chick:



-Martha asks Phillip who he works for. He says KGB. Her response.:


Gee Martha, who in the hell do you think Clark works for? Mexico? Canada? Who is your country in a proxy war against right now and would benefit from gaining information from within government organizations? Read a book one time for me.

-She turns it to hot and heavy and sounds like "I Know Places" by Taylor Swift:




Sidenote, Tay get some music on YouTube. Make life easier for us Bloggers.

-And then drops an absolute bombshell of a line:


OH GOD PHILLIP NO! DON'T DO THAT, ANYTHING BUT THAT!



She wants to trap you and make it impossible for you to leave her. We learned earlier in the episode Martha has been pregnant before but her partner at the time left her and she got an (illegal) abortion. She's batshit crazy. Do not, I repeat DO NOT, knock this chick up.

-Poor Gabriel:



Downright hilarious. Gabriel getting woken up by the moaning is perfect. He's the college kid who's trying to just get some shut eye on a Wednesday night because he has an exam in his 8 AM the next morning, but his Don Juan roommate brought a girl back from the bar and proceeds to lay pipe. And Martha is the girl who just overdoes it for some reason in some weird quest to prove herself or something. Guys, Gabriel has a microeconomics exam in 7 hours and would like to wake up on time, please keep it down. And yes I know the audio isn't great on that clip, that's a Jimbo.

-Martha calls in sick, but when Stan and Fat Shaggy call her house and get the answering machine, the know something is up. For the sake of brevity I'm skipping ahead in the story; they go to her place and she's not there. They end up at Clark's place and there's nothing there. They have forensics start collecting prints and ID'ing the place.

-The idea is that Martha basically will never go home. Phillip is convinced she's compromised (he's right) and since she can't go back to work or her house, he wants to get her out. He has to go meet William, but when he goes to tell Martha she's asleep. She doesn't wake up, probably just exhaustion from what's been going on, but I, like Phillip, thought she maybe killed herself, either with pills or the gun she brought from home. He takes the gun and there's a whole sequence with him holding it and to be honest I don't really know what it was about but whatever. 

-The Rezidentura is preparing to exfiltrate Martha. Arkady says the person in question (Martha) and the operatives (Phillip, Elizabeth, Gabriel) are just waiting on them. 

-With the forensics back, there basically isn't a Clark. Two names show up, only one would work but its a longshot. Basically Martha is cooked (still). They tell Gaad of their suspicions, to which he has a great reaction:


Martha's officially blacklisted at the office, and likely the rest of the agency and branches will likely be on the lookout for her. 

-William brings a new disease that can be weaponized, in a very innovative way:


Gross. William, I love ya, but that's nasty. He couldn't get a pure culture, but they can take samples from that dead rat they tested it on.

-Martha wakes up and Phillip is still gone. She goes downstairs, runs into Gabriel, is a real bitch to him, and then goes back upstairs. And then she runs away. She thinks Gabriel did something to Phillip and threatens to out him as KGB if she touches her (good stranger danger skills to be honest). So she's gone rogue and is going to screw EVERYTHING up. I though it would be Paige but Marha is the cut that starts the bleeding. (To be honest, just look at the preview for a quick clip of Martha leaving the safe house. I don't have the storage or energy to take the full video. If that sounds pathetic, well so be it. Minor setback for a major comeback-JJ Watt, probably.)

This weeks episode was cleverly titled "The Rat". You have the literal rat William gives Phillip, but also the plot line that Martha is a rat in the FBI. Bravo The Americans, bravo.

Next week's preview:


It makes it look like FBI is going to get to Martha, but I think it ends up being KGB/Rezidentura to exfiltrate her. 

Hit me up with other theories, questions, comments, let me know if you think I missed anything here, the whole 9 on Twitter @TheSituAsian508. Имейте хороший товарищей.

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I Need To Rant About My Dorm's Laundry Room


That's not my actual laundry room. From the same campus, not the same, but close enough. There's 2 washers and 3 dryers in a building that houses around 90 people, give or take a few. That in of itself is absurd. But my core issue, the one that just eats away at my soul is that people will just leave their laundry in washers and dryers going after the cycle has ended. Let me show you something.

This is a little program we use called LaundryView. You select your building and it'll tell you when machines open up. White means open, light red is how much time is left, dark red just shows it's in use in general. Problem is that it'll show white when the cycle ends, not when someone takes their shit out. So that means you'll go down there and everything's full even though LaundryView says everything open. Real kick in the dick type of stuff. 

It just baffles me that people this old are such assholes. I'm talking people between 18-21 that haven't been too jaded by the world yet. Or maybe I should expect this type of animalistic behavior from fellow college students. Your human skills are so out of whack if you leave your laundry in the machines after they're done. Yesterday I gave up when someones stuff was in a washer 45 minutes after the cycle ended. 45 MINUTES! That insane! Who's trying to leave their clothes unattended for that long in a cold, wet mess? 

You're psychotic and above all else, an asshole if you do this. You know when you put your clothes in, set a timer if you don't want to look at the website. When it's down to a minute, go down to the laundry room and take your shit out so someone else can use it. It's not rocket science. We're not in Kindergarten when we still hadn't learned about sharing. 

And I know what you're saying. "Alex, just take their stuff out yourself." Fair point to raise, but allow me to offer my counterpoints. First, I'm not trying top touch other people's shit. Call me weird, but I'm not about that. That's their business to handle. Second, not even I'm that big of an asshole. I mean I'm an asshole, but not to the extent that I would do that. I still have basic human skills. I stay out of other peoples stuff as much as possible, so I'm not going to take their wet clothing and plop it on top of the washer or ground. I'm above them, not some pea-brained ape like them. 

It's a common courtesy. It's simple societal living. When your laundry is done move it within 5 minutes. I'll allow that buffer period. If your shower is taking long or you get caught up something, fine. Just get there within 5 minuted of the cycle ending and we have no problems. If everyone did this, the world would be a better place.

PS-I also noticed its all girls who leave their stuff in there. Is that like a gender thing? I feel like guys just wanna wash their shit (they ran out of underwear and socks and have to) and get out ASAP. Girls will just leave stuff everywhere, as if they made the entire dorm building their house. Bananas. Another reason I haven't moved shit. The off chance a girl walks in and I'm holding her delicates moving them and she gets the wrong idea. I'm not trying to trash my school's reputation, but let's just say a girl who walked in on that may not hesitate to toss out a sexual harassment accusation within 5 minutes, aka before they move their clothes.




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Sunday, April 17, 2016

Revs Draw 2-2 With Orlando City In A Chaotic Game

Oh lord, what a game. And not really in a good way. That was one of those "Taking years off my life in the same way jumping off a bridge does" kind of games. For what it's worth let's all agree to call it a 1-1 draw instead of 2-2. I'll get to it later. Let's roll...

-Lineup notes: JoGo apparently picked up a slight injury so he was out completely. That pushed Watson inside next to Farrell and Woodberry to right back. And Juan still isn't ready I guess, so Teal got another start up top with Charlie still on the bench. 

-Moment of silence for Brek Shea's hair:


-Orlando's fans were great as usual. About 36,000 was the official number. They were a little quiet in the middle but at the start and after about the 70th minute they were great. One of my favorite MLS fan groups.

-Revs got off to a lava hot start:



-Giving up a penalty 14 seconds in. I'm almost impressed at the innovation by this team to give away goals. Penalty call is a little iffy. There appeard to be a handball on Baptista right before he turns, and at first glance it looks like it was maybe a dive (which Taylor Twellman shouted on commentary), but ESPN showed a nice close, HD shot that makes it pretty clear Watson clipped the back of his heel. Whether or not he embellished is a matter of opinion, but I can see it either way.

-A note on the ref from today. ESPN said he gives the most penalty kicks in the league. Something to keep in mind.

-There was a nice ball played to Tierney down the left (by Lee I believe) that looked like it went out before he could get a foot on it but there was no call. Perhaps a precursor of what was to come.The pass was beautiful though.

-Tierney looked shaky to start. I don't know if it was the captains armband or something but he was off to start. He settled down after some uncomfortable play with the ball, both passing and receiving.

-Nguyen and Fagundez had some nice combos going in the first half that they couldn't quite finish. Sidenote-if I describe something and there's no video it's because I didn't take any Vines or anything because my computer doesn't do rewind apparently. That's a Jimbo, I'll own that.

-Twellman made note of Orlando's shaky back line. The Revs did a good job in attempting to exploit it. They were chasing Nguyen around, creating pockets for others to get into. And when Lee had the ball and would run right at the two center backs, they would retreat and allow other players to run by them looking for a pass. It caused havoc in the Orlando formation. Right idea, just need to work on execution and finishing.

-More Nguyen, nifty moves that ultimately led to a corner:


-Teal levels it at 1:



Nice combo by Lee and Tierney gets Chris some space on the wing and he showed why he has the best left foot in the league. Great cross and good work by Teal to get in the open space. Hard to miss form that distance, though if anyone could do it it's him. Hoping that goal breaks him out of the funk he's been in. He did look better today than in past weeks.

-After the nightmarish start, the Revs really dominated play in the 1st, and even into the beginning of the second. Cyle Larin and Molino both came on for the Lions and that's when it got very dicey for the Revs.

-Kaka realized he could exploit the hell out of London Woodberry on the left and spent most of the 2nd over there digging the youngster a grave. One instance:




-Superb from Je-Vaughn Watson to rob Larin. Playing in a position where he has yet to play this season and he stepped up big time.

-Odd moment when it looked like Daigo was coming on for Scotty, even though Koffie had a yellow. You'd think they'd want to eliminate any chance of a second yellow. But then Heaps changed his mind after the 4th official had put the sub board up. Caldwell ended up making a nice play after that, but in the end did come off for Daigo. Just really strange.

-Kevin Alston nearly scored against his old club, somehow just putting it over Bobby. Alston got his first start of the season today, good to see for a likable guy in his 7 years in New England.

-Charlie came on for Diego in the 60th minute and had a real nice look in the 85th. Tierney served him up an absolute beauty of a cross into the box that he couldn't head home. Twellman mentioned the wind had a factor in it, basically saying it causes the ball to dip a little and increase or decrease in pace based on the direction, but I still think Chuck should have buried that. Golden opportunity wasted.

-Back to Twellman, he said Shuttleworth's nickname is "Big Save bobby", which I have never heard before. after today it may have to become his nickname. Orlando sent a barrage at the defense towards the end and Bobby stood toe to toe with them. Two big saves starting with Nocerino:


-And then on Rivas:



-And then the controversy started. Molina scored what seemed to be the game winner:

That's a handball. He plays it from his shoulder down his arm and intentionally moves it to his advantage. So it looked as of the Revs were going to be done in by poor refs yet again. But then:

Oh boy. So Carrasco gets called for a handball outside of the box, meaning free kick. Two problems: 1) As much as I want it to be, that wasn't a handball. It hit his shoulder.  And 2) Since he did call it, he has to initially call for a PK since Carrasco was INSIDE the 18  when the ball hit him. So the ref messed up on both fronts. In the end the 4th official corrected the spot of it since he can't overturn the handball call, and gave a PK to the Revs. It took about a minute and a half of the ref putting his hand to his ear pretending to listen to his headset and getting shoved around by Orlando players, but Lee put it home at the death:


-And thus it ended 2-2, but really 1-1. The result was justified. Horribly officiated game so the teams split the points. Ref had zero control over the game, it can't be understated how piss-poor MLS refs have been this year.

-But wait, there's more! The real fireworks started after the game:



-Crazy Jay Heaps and Adrian Heath went at it afterwards. I mean Jay is always crazy but today especially. Since the Internet never lies, Heath apparently was yelling at Lee Nguyen the call was bullshit and basically scolding him for not intentionally missing the PK. Adrian Heath graduated from the Jesse Marsch school of ethics. Hey Adrian, get LAWST you LOSER. Heaps will put you through the moon door like he did with Marsch. Talk about class, I'll leave this here...



UPDATE-Apparently Heath was mad at how Heaps and the Revs reacted to Orlando fans throwing shit at them after the equalizer? Are you kidding me? You're mad because the opponent was a little miffed about YOUR fans throwing stuff at them? WHAT PLANET AM I ON?!?

Man of the Match
Based on the last few minutes alone it could be Bobby, but for the first time ever, and because I make the rules around here, the CO-MOTM: Je-Vaughn Watson and Lee Nguyen.


(I have yet to decide on music for Watson yet, forgive me)

Watson showed off his versatility playing at center back instead of his usual right back spot. That was part of the reason the Revs wanted him. He can play literally anywhere along the back line or in a defensive midfield role. He was solid going up against a very good Orlando attack. Lee was the focal point of the Revs offense as always, but was far more involved than in recent weeks. He caused headaches for the Orlando defenders, worked nice combos with Tierney and Diego, played some beauties that couldn't find the net, nearly put home a free kick late in the game, and buried the winning PK. 

Away again Saturday April 23rd in the nations capital to take on DC United. Good god I'm hoping we can get a win. I've had enough of the draws.

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Thursday, April 14, 2016

The American's "Clark's Place" Recap

A lot of Clark/Martha on this one, which isn't surprising obviously given the name of the episode. Not a lot of action but a lot of moving parts and storylines moving ahead, if that makes sense. Lets roll...

-First off, no William at all this week. Devastating. No other way to put it. I'm heartbroken there wasn't a single snarky comment made by our favorite scientist. You get a one-week pass FX, but starting with next episode No William, We Riot. That's a promise. 

-Martha's at Clark's place to start, slugging some red wine and prescription pills...


"Poppin' pills is all we know."-Travis Scott/Martha

She has Valium because of panic attacks, so Phillip gives her a number to call if she needs to reach him, but says she needs to memorize it and give the piece of paper he wrote it on back in the morning. To which she basically tells him she never gets tot keep anything of his.

-Cross over the Pacific to Russia and Oleg is being told by his father what happened to Nina...


Poor Oleg. 
-Stan and Neil deGrasse Tyson/Fat Shaggy talk about their suspicions of Martha, and the idea of her seeing a married man as the cause for her secrecy and recent behavior ends up not being too far fetched....





You'll never forget what you saw that night Stan. Mark my words. You know Martha likes to have all sorts of exotic sex now, theres no turning a blind eye to it.

-Phillip and Elizabeth visit Pastor Tim and Alice, and bring a priest from El Salvador to vouch for them...


Alice with a real knee slapper. Ain't no joke like a religious denomination joke!

-Father Revis basically tells Tim and Alice that they are all on the same side, and what Phillip and Elizabeth do does not hurt anyone. If you're like me then you were wondering a little bit about how they got a priest from El Salvador there so fast. Well thats answered when they drop him off at home afterwards...


-Martha goes to Clark's again and this time is being trailed by Fat Shaggy. Luckily Hans, the South American nerd we all forgot about, is doing recon on Martha for this exact reason, and phones the apartment where Phillip is waiting. And Phillip pulls the Irish Goodbye on Martha!



I wasn't expecting that. He slips out the back of the complex and walks behind Shaggys car out of harm's way while Martha gets inside and realizes what's happening after Clark doesn't answer her.

And then...wait a minute. What's that! Could it be! Another?!?!


Oh Martha, I'm sooooooo sorry.

-Oleg is back in America at breaks the Nina news to Arkady. They're both upset, but Arkady because he can't believe Nina would throw away another chance after he backed her. Oleg cant seem to believe that and leaves. He ends up meeting with Stan to break it to him as well...





And-OH MY GOD!!! A THIRD!!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!!
I swear I'm done. And then Oleg turned into The Rock for a second...





-You can see Oleg turning. He says he can't even believe int he cause his brother died fighting for anymore. He'll probably turn before the season finale, and may get mixed up with Phillip and Elizabeth.

-Martha calls the number she got from Philip and is told he'll call back in an hour, which he does. At the end of the call he tells her he loves her, which gives us a great moment in proving wife telepathy...

Daggers. They meet with Gabriel to discuss Martha, and they want Phillip to keep working her and want him to give her cameras and memorize stuff, which he's adamantly against doing. They give him the old "no we'll protect her" act but its pretty obvious where this will all end up (Another Crying Jordan meme).

-Oh, yeah, this also happened:

...I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet.


-Matthew arrives at Stans and to his surprise Henry is already there. Big Hank apparently already has their plans for the night since Stan is going to be working. Pizza and movies and games, and Matthew is overwhelmed.

"Uhh, dad, when did you make the neighbor's son your own son?" Don't worry Matthew, we think its weird to.

-Phillip goes to Stan's to get Henry for dinner, but wants to talk to Stan first. He apologizes for talking with Sandra and going to EST with her without telling Stan (although he shouldn't have to in my opinion), and Stan response is...


Oh hey thanks dude. I just apologized to you for coming into my garage and shoving me against my wall and threatening to harm me after I went to self-help classes and got some food with your EX-wife even though you yourself admitted you know I'd never do anything out of bounds. Yeah, thanks for calling me an asshole, chief.

-Phillip meets Neil deGrasse Tyson when he comes to pick up Stan, which Elizabeth sees for their window. He's the one that was with Gaad when Elizabeth beat them up, and Phillip finds out he's the one who took Martha to dinner.

-Elizabeth tries to tell him again they'll protect her, but he's just sort of half there, so she decides to take his mind off his fake-wife and remind him his real wife is an absolute sex-rocket and dragon in the sack. Here's the link since I don't want to embed it here: https://vid.me/e/1av5

So overall not a bad episode. The lack of physical action is made up for through seeing three separate hearts get torn to shreds, though the lack of William still doesn't sit right. Fix that FX.

Preview for next week:
Ruh roh Martha. 

Hit me up with other theories, questions, comments, let me know if you think I missed anything here, the whole 9 on Twitter @TheSituAsian508. Имейте хороший товарищей.

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